Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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SophiasMom2010 11/15/2011

today my sister actually had the nerve to say that sometimes she wishes she were in my shoes, and maybe I should hold off on having a rainbow baby. She said sometimes she wishes she was in my place because she's so exhausted with her kids and she wishes she had more time for herself and for partying.

I know she didn't mean this in a bad way, she just meant she is exhausted with taking care of her kids and sometimes she wishes she had waited longer, but still her saying that she wishes she was in my place, it made me so mad. she takes her kids for granted and as much as I wish I could explain it she will never understand what it is to bury your child, and I pray she never does, but even when I tell her how lucky she is she brushes it off and complains how HARD it is to be her. She has no idea. I would trade all my freedom and free time for my little girl back. I would give my life just to see her smile.

I just wanted to share. People can say the most insensitive crap sometimes

deleted_user 11/15/2011

Ugh, that's really insensitive. And it hurts more when it comes from family.

lmnmama 11/15/2011

I had been jokingly complaining throughout my pregnancy that i would be so tired when our daughter arrived (she was our 3rd). I now feel incredible guilt over this, as i would love to be exhausted because she is here and waking me every couple of hours to feed, along with caring for my 2 boys.

it was very insensitive for her to make that comment, as this is a place NO one would want to be, but hopefully it was a one time slip, and she thinks more carefully before she says something like that again.

deleted_user 11/15/2011

Nobody, including family, have any idea what we truly have gone through. The emotional toll this has taken on us on such a deep level. If they did, that type of comment would never be spoken. I hope she reflects and realizes just how precious her babies really are.

deleted_user 11/15/2011

It was insensitive and spoke volumes to her lack of understanding. It was only 2 weeks after I lost my daughter that my sister called me. She was hysterically crying because she received a negative pregnancy test...it was only her first month trying. I tried to comfort her best I could, and that's when she told me how lucky I am because at least I know I can get pregnant.

A lady at the pharmacy where I get my perscriptions filled said the same thing to me after explaining how she struggled to get pregnant. Those comments hurt, but it's nothing like the hurt it gives when comming from your family. You are in my thoughts!

misssingmartiin 11/15/2011

So your sister is complaining about having to take care of her kids and also trying to get pregnant? Sounds like she needs to re-think that one. I'm so sorry that you have to hear insensative stuff from your sister. If someone would have called me crying about a negative pregnancy test after thier first try 2 weeks after I delivered my son, I would have hung up on them. It sounds like you are a very supportive person but don't let her walk all over your feelings. Take care!

nasnye 11/15/2011

I agree with all that everyone here has said. Unless a person has walked in our shoes, they have no right to say anything.

Hugs

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