Please don't think that way. There are still people in your life that need you, even if you don't think so. I have no living children either. I do have a husband but I still feel like I'm going through this alone right now. Since the funeral, we haven't really talked about it. I come to these boards to let out my frustrations because I don't think anyone else wants to hear it. I feel like I'm the only one who's world stopped when I lost my little girl. Everyone else keeps going and I'm jealous of that. I no longer fear death because I know I'll see her, but I'm not going to go look for it.

Yes, please do hang in there. Coming from experience, I promise you that it does get better with time. I still think about my little boy, but the heart wrenching pain is now gone. Push yourself to get out of bed every day and get yourself moving. Do a few nice things for yourself. Definitely keep yourself busy with things, even if you're just cleaning out a closet. Time does heal.

As AurorasMom indicated, "most" men (not all) don't grieve the same way we do so I think we feel alone in our grief. I know I did. That's why it's nice to have a support group such as this to let your feelings out to those of us who have been there and know the need to "talk" about it.

Please hang in there and know that others care and do need you!

I'm so sorry. My daughter was stillborn at 38 weeks in 2010, my boyfriend didn't leave me like yours did, but within 2 months of her death I found out he was cheating on me and planning on leaving me for another woman, and although he decided to stay physically he began to stay out every night until past 10 and slept every Friday and Saturday at his brothers then spent all day Sunday there, he only came home to sleep on weeknights for close to a year and a half. Prior to my babys death I stopped talking to all my friends and most of my family because I didn't want toxic people, (drug addicts, gangs), around my daughter and after she died I found myself with an absent boyfriend and no one to turn to for support, so I know that you must feel incredibly alone and I can relate when you say waking up feels so disappointing sometimes.

Coming to DS helped me through a lot of it, you can say what you feel here and people don't judge you. The most important thing for you is to take care of yourself right now and do whatever you can to be happy even for 5 minutes a day. Do you work or go to school? Sometimes even a job to keep you busy during the day can help.

It's been 3 1/2 years since I lost my baby, and the other women here are right, it does get much easier and I promise you won't be in this fog forever, you just need to hold on. I'm here whenever you need to talk. **HUGS**

I am so sorry for the loss of your little girl. My daughter died exactly one month after your little one was born.

I know it's so hard to go on (I feel it too), but hold on. I believe that someday there has to be something beautiful waiting for us all. In the meantime, try be kind to yourself.

If you ever need to talk, I am here, and I think all of the other mamas would say the same.

I am so sorry for your loss. It has been nearly a year since my loss, and I can still remember feeling like I was in a dark pit of misery. Those intense emotions will pass. Please hang in there. I had to constantly remind myself that my son would not have wanted me to give up. Hugs to you.

Thank you all precious mamas for your responses. I have been encouraged to hold on, and wait for my sun to rise again. Blessings to you.

AurorasMom I love that you said that about death. I feel the same way. I really believe being the mother of a lost child means not fearing death. How can we fear death when we all spent countless nights begging God to kill us instead and give our babies back their lives?

Celian, you're stronger than you know. Your sun will definitely rise again, though it may be dimmer now without Ellaine.

I'm so sorry you are feeling alone. I do not know what you are going through but my sister lost her little girl at 21 weeks. It'll be 3 years in September. She is my best friend and it hurts my heart to know how much pain she felt/is still feeling. Please know there are people who love and care about you. I'd be lost without my sister and I'm so glad she's picking herself up slowly and getting through such a terrible tragedy.

Good for you Celian! It does get better. You will see. Unfortunately you will still experience tough days. You are going through the deep pain of it now. Whenever you feel extremely down please come here and "talk" to those of us who can help lift your spirits again. You need that. We all need that. To have each other is a very special gift when you're experiencing a loss such as this.

Hugs!

Celian,

I am so sorry for you loss. I lost my Matthew at 36 weeks on October 18, 2013. There are good days and bad ones and then really bad ones. One thing that I am working on is allowing myself to be happy. There is so much good out there and I often find it hard to allow myself to see it. Hang in there. There is no manual for what you are navigating, but you are doing the best you can. Keep it up...your future will be amazing!