I can relate. I went back to work after my 6 week appointment and I too had pregnant women in my office. I cant tell you it wont hurt when you see them because it does no matter how strong you think you are. IWhat I did was have a conversation with my boss and the CEO of my company and explained that I needed to come back to work so i could move forward but I needed them to understand I still have breakdowns and would need some extra time during the day to get myself together. What they did was found an empty office and I was able to go into that office and cry or whatever I needed to do (work) or take extra time for my lunch and make it up after five when everyone else went home. I know some bosses a renot as understanding as mine but it wont hurt to try and talk t her. Good luck and I will pray everything works out for you.

Janay

Hello, All very valid concerns and questions.
Here's my plan:
1. Taking as much maternity leave as I am allowed (12 weeks)
2. Gone in for a couple of "visits" to my job & got an idea of how people reacted to me and how I would react to them.
3. Planning "scripts" - pre-prepared phrases to say to people like, "Thanks for asking, I am doing as well as can be expected." "No, I do not feel jealous (angry, etc.). Thanks for asking." No need to elaborate. Also, "Thank you for your concern" and moving conversation elsewhere.
4.Returning on a modified schedule
5. Met with my boss, let her know how I was feeling, what I wanted in my schedule, the people who I had issues etc. If you break down emotionally, at least she'll know where you're at. I also let my boss know that I expected her to respect my privacy and the things I shared with her.
6. I will avoid the break room (AKA: Busy-body Central Station) and eat my meals elsewhere

Don't tell off the busy bodies - why give them the upper hand when you are already emotionally fragile?

I hope this helps. I have given 7 years to my workplace and am a good employee. I realized that I had the upper hand and if they want to keep me, they will honor my requests.

I actually returned to work very early . i only took 2 weeks... i couldnt stand being alone everyday had to get back to doing something everyday. My boss actually yelled at me for returning so early he thought i needed more time to myself . the people who asked what had happend or how the baby was i just smiles didnt get into detail but said she was in heaven with her uncle and grandmother. they tried to get more detail but i just walked away or changed the subject. trying to keep as calm as i could. walk into my office and cry. that happend for a good week and a half until of course everyone knew how emotional i was about it. i did have one coworker who supported me as much as she could her and i were pregnant at the same time. she now has a healthy baby boy. i can tell she feels bad but like you im not jealous why be jealous of other peoples miracals..know you are never alone

Hi,

I went back after 4 weeks to my intense job as a pediatric resident. If my physical recovery had progressed as planned without the subsequent complications this would have been fine to me. I think everyone is different.

Yeslamamom has great advice. I didn't have any scripts because I thought it was too disingenuous, but what I ended up doing was being rude to a few people in my first few days back. Just say something in the mirror until you can say something honest without crying. It's been 3 months now and I still don't know what to say. So I think scripts are better than rudeness.

Thank you all for the advice. I've planned to meet with my boss next week to discuss what I feel will work best for me to have a steady transition back. The 'scripts' are a great idea, hopefully I'm confident enough to put them into practice.

I've been thinking about what I want to say over and over in my head, to the point where I can't sleep, so the sooner I get the meeting over and done with the better. If they aren't supportive it's probably best I find an employer who is, as I will need extra support and flexibility if/when my husband and I decide to try for another baby,

I've signed up to a fitness bootcamp which I'm sure will sort out any extra anxiety I may have. I'm also hoping the physical exaughtion will help me sleep better at night.

Thank you so much for the advice, it's amazing the amount of strength you can gather off people (who you don't know) but have been through the same experience, just to know I am not alone, and to hear those words, helps alot.

I think the fitness stuff is a great idea. It's so good for you and really does help a lot with sleep. And sleep helps a lot with sanity and everything else. So does a supportive employer so good luck. :)