Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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"In the middle" days

EllisonGrey
EllisonGrey
Today is six weeks since I have lost my little girl, and I am having what I call an "in the middle" day. Some days I am so crushed that I am hurt and crying, and other days I am filled with hope and acutally happy. Then, there are the days where I basically feel nothing. I am not sad and hurt enough to break down and cry, but I am not happy enough to be motiviated to make anything out of my day.

To me, these are the worst days because I don't really know how to feel or what to do. I feel like I don't have any direction, and I just want the day to be over so that maybe tomorrow will be better. It seems like I know what to do when I am hurt or happy, but this feeling just drives me crazy. I just feel so blah...like I don't care about anything.

Does anyone have any advice on how to swing your mood and get through these types of day? Thanks :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hate the middle days myself. Not sure if it's just supposed to be one more thing we have to just "deal" with... Not fair, but is anything anymore??? Good thing about middle days, is that you realize that's what it is and that the sun will rise again tmrw and hopefully it will be a good day...xoxo
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well the way that I get thru my "in the middle days" is talk to my Angel. Some how I always feel better. I go out on my lunch to her gravesite and just talk. ( I know that people think I am crazy just sitting in the graveyard talking away) I talk to her about everything. I also ask her to help me, help me feel something, help me get thru the day, give me the strength to talk to all the customers that come in and ask questions baout her. With out her help I wouldnt make it. just my little 2 cents worth. It might help.
Lots of Love
Amanda
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm totally with you on this!!! Middle days, yuck! I always get stuck having that kind of days and it only makes life worse. I wish I could have a map or calendar that way I am prepared but bad days hit me and good days always end bad, but the middle days I am in such a dark place, no tears just despair. This is how I would describe my middle days, the days that I don't have hope but don't have energy for crying. Days that don't count for anything...

Let me know when you find something that helps. I will say that my middle days tend to be bad news for my apt. nothing gets done.

Hugs,
Catherine
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you for posting this. I have been feeling this way for two weeks now and I wasn't quite sure how to even describe it. I just want the days to be over. I feel like the more days away from my angel's death, the better I will feel...I don't think that is happening though. I don't know what advice I would give, but I know I will be reading the responses to help me as well.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm actually having one of those today. I'm just blah. My due date is next week. But I don't feel like crying and Im not happy either. I'm just numb and so so tired of all these. So at least is good to know that Im not alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wish I had some good advice, but I can only let you know that you are definitely not alone! I hate these "middle days" - great name for them, by the way. Unfortunately, for me, a string of middle days usually ends with a tremendous breakdown.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You described exactly how I feel so much of the time. Some days I am a crying mess and other days I have legitimate happy days where I feel hope for the future and then there are other days where it seems like I'm kind of blah.... like I'm not happy, I'm not sad.... I'm just whatever. Those are usually moments when I am thinking about her, about what my pregnancy would be like at this stage, just everything. I always find myself relating to SO much of what you say when you post.