Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
Well today is the day. One year ago exactly I was the happiest girl in the world just waiting for my little girl to decide it was time to be in my arms. Little did I know by the end of the day, our world would be turned upside down. I woke up around midnight without my precious girl kicking me to tell me she's safe and sound and let mommy know she's ok. My worst nightmare came true as my husband and I raced to labor and delivery in the middle of the night only to find out our deepest fear had happened, my sweet Kendall at exactly 37 weeks had passed away. It makes me sick to my stomach just writing this and reliving every moment, as if I don't anyway every single second of every day. I always wondered how I would feel a year later if I was able to say I'm stronger and now here it is, a year later and nothings changed and my pain is still and raw and gut wrenching as it was at the beginning of this miserable journey. I just want to hold my girl... the best moment of my entire life was seeing her chubby face and kissing her nose...and the worst moment is knowing that I'll never see her again.
We are having a small memorial at her spot (as we call it) out in the cemetery then are going back to my parents with close fam and friends to eat and just hang out I suppose.
Any suggestions on any poems (non religious -- dont even get me started on my beliefs these days) that I could read out loud at her spot? Ive been looking for the perfect one but havent found anything yet that I really feel is what I want to say to her.
Thinking of all you angle moms, new and seasoned, as none of us deserve to have our sweet babies taken from us. My thoughts are always with you guys and all we can do is keep going. Thanks for anyones imput.
We are having a small memorial at her spot (as we call it) out in the cemetery then are going back to my parents with close fam and friends to eat and just hang out I suppose.
Any suggestions on any poems (non religious -- dont even get me started on my beliefs these days) that I could read out loud at her spot? Ive been looking for the perfect one but havent found anything yet that I really feel is what I want to say to her.
Thinking of all you angle moms, new and seasoned, as none of us deserve to have our sweet babies taken from us. My thoughts are always with you guys and all we can do is keep going. Thanks for anyones imput.
I googled some poems for you. Not sure what you would be into for that, but there is a site located here http://www.angelfire.com/hi2/motherswithangels/poems11.html and here http://www.funerals-poems.com/stillborn-baby-poems.html that might have something.
Your story is similar to my own. My Brenna was born exactly 6 months ago today at just shy of 38 weeks. She didn't give me her normal 2 a.m. kicks when I went to the bathroom and so off we went to L&D to learn she didn't have a heartbeat. It is heartbreaking still. Time is helping, but I certainly have my moments when it all feels so fresh.
Here is a poem by friend Teri wrote for my daughter Brenna. I had this read at her funeral. Perhaps it is something you'll want to consider. You could leave out the part about the brother if that doesn't apply.
I Know You
For Brenna
I know you.
You are the little girl I cradled next to my heart for months, and waited for for years.
You are the one I spoke to, shopped for, held my breath for, so I could better hear that strong little heart beat at every check up.
I know you.
You are the little girl I played Mommy to all those years ago, all those times I gently held my baby dolls in my arms and danced around my little bedroom.
I know you.
You are the little sister to a big brother who doesnt understand why youre not here after all.
You are the little girl that Daddy had already begun worrying about keeping away from boys who wouldnt possibly deserve you.
You are the little girl I was going to have tea parties with, whose hair I couldnt wait to curl, whose eyes I knew would dance.
I know you.
You are my sweet angel girl, who I ache to cradle once again. Who I held so briefly and never want to let go.
I know you.
Because I am your Mommy.
And I love you more than I can begin to say.
And I always will.
And, one day, I will see you again, and I will sweep you up in my arms, and I will know its you.
And you will know me.
Because you are mine.
December 16, 2010
By Teri Walker