They have no reason for my son's death. There was no cord problems, no placenta issues, and mine and his blood work was normal. It is very had to not blame myself. I struggle everyday trying to google or read to see if it could have been something I did, something I ate or drank, or something. I look for "just something" to blame it on. I've called my doctor many times trying to ask more questions with more possible "ifs". His response is always the same. We ran every test we could think of. I know he is just not saying that. He has called to check on me several times. My son's death has bothered him. He said that everything comes back perfect and as a doctor he knows there just has to be a reason. Everyone is just dumb founded. I've come to the conclusion that I must stop trying to find the answer. Some day when I see my son in heaven I will know. Until then it's a secret that has no answer.

I am sorry you ladies don't have an answer. I have been waiting for 5 weeks now and still haven't gotten a definate answer as to why from my drs. I went to another dr and they told me I am showing signs of eclampsia meaning I couldve had pre-e while pregnant and didn't know it or wasn't treated for it. I wish we all would get answers.

I went in today for my postpartum checkup and talked at length with my doctor about the cause of Isabella's death. She said that in 20% of pregnancy there is a knot or the cord is around the neck but the baby comes out normal. She doesnt understand what happened either because the knot and the cord around her neck were both loose. I didnt opt for an autospy because I didnt want them cutting up my baby girl....she was perfect....so many questions not answered.....

I didn't want an autopsy, I couldn't bear it, the Dr. that delivered her though said that the cord was really tightly wrapped and even though there were no placenta problems or any other issues, he really felt like that had to be the cause. I've read so much since I lost her and it seems that sometimes it's just hard to determine a cause at all. I know that it's distressing not knowing, but a clotting disorder could be scary too. It could very well have been the cord around her neck just like my Anna Sophia. Hugs to you and just know that you did Nothing wrong.

I hate to tell you this... but when there is no answer they ALWAYS say it's a blood clotting disorder. I have had two other children both successful pregnancies. They tested me for Anemia but nothing else. Yet, my daughter is stillborn and I am told that I have a clotting disorder.

You can not blame yourself or your body. I know that the medicine I took at my cardiologist's recommendation killed my HEALTHY baby. My new cardiologist confirmed my thoughts "off the record" of course.

No cord issues, no placenta issues, no blood issues... just a "these things happen" response from my OB.

Until the medical community is held accountable, these things will continue to happen.

Hugs, Love & Rainbows!!!
Nneka

I had a very healthy pregnancy, I had an ultrasound a month before and there was no signs of illness and yet when Molly was born she was not well. All of the doctors, even the genectics doctor thought she had down syndrome. We did not have the First Trimester screening done at 14 weeks because we would have nver ended the pregnancy because of illness on our own accord and those tests just cause me more stress. When thinking Molly had down syndrome, we were glad we did not have the testing done, because I enjoyed my pregnancy, and I don't know if I could have if I knew she had down syndrome and the potential of loosing her (we learned that most babies with ds do not make it). 2 weeks ago we were informed, through a very brief and non sympathetic letter, that Molly did not have ds. They found no abnormalities. Now we have so many more questions. We called the genectics doctor a week and a half ago and he has yet to called us back. I placed an unhappy follow up call yesterday. No answers is so frustrating. I want to know why my daughter was not well and I want to know if there is anything I can do to prevent this in the future.

We also have no reason for Bear's death. I had a great pregnancy with no real problems. We had multiple ultrasounds, including one at 36 weeks and everything looked good. Tons of blood work and an autopsy showed everything was normal, including his cord and placenta.

When we found out he had died, we expected to see something when he came out and when he looked totally normal, we had a gut feeling that the autopsy wouldn't show anything. So when it came back normal it wasn't a surprise and I think I had resigned myself to the fact that we were never going to know. There are things that the autopsy could have shown that could affect future pregnancies and then there are things that it could have said that would make me feel more guilty than I already do, so in a way, I feel okay just not knowing. It bothers me sometimes, but knowing won't bring him back to life, which is the only thing that would make me feel better.

Someone once told me that it sounds like there was nothing that could have changed it and "this was his life." I find comfort in those words and knowing that those nine months being held in my body was his whole life on this earth and it was a good life. He never knew any pain and only knew complete love.

Blessings to all of you as we navigate this vast darkness.

I also had no explanation for my son's death. When he was born, they thought that my placenta ruptured but tests showed that it didn't. There was nothing wrong with me and nothing wrong with him. So why did this happen?

I didn't know how to feel after I found out but my doctor said since we couldn't find anything, the chances of it happening again is slim to none. I hope she's right. At the very least, I was very relieved to hear that it was nothing I did. ((Hugs))

I liked what Bear's mom said that the 9months her baby spent was a good 9months, comfortable in moms tummy and completely loved. I like to think that My Jayne's life was complete too. That it was purposed that she should live just 40 weeks. I have no explanation for her death, she was born on the Sunday, after finding out she had died on the Saturday, yet the Tuesday before that I had seen my OB and everything looked (in his words) 'low risk'.
My baby had growth restriction, but not so severe as to cause her death. she had some clots in her placenta, but not sufficient to reduce the blood supply very severely. There was evidence of infection, but that was from having my waters artifically broken, and was introduced after her death. She had placental insufficiency but again her growth had matched the capacity of the placenta so it wasn't the cause.

I see other babies born 4 weeks early, some born at 42 weeks, all alive and kicking. Mine was born at 40 weeks, having died sometime in the previous 4 days, and there is no reason... There are lots of women who have problems during the pregnancy but still at the end they take a baby home...I find it hard seeing other babies born with no problems, why do they live? Why do some die? When my rainbow was born, I just couldn't believe how easy it all was... of course very stressful pregnancy, but I went into labour just the same as last year, but when my daughter came out she was alive, when Jayne came out she was dead... I took baby aspirin during my rainbow pregnancy, but that's all I did different... that's how I think it must be a decision made by God to take her, it must be that his plan for Jayne was 9 months, his plan for my rainbow is longer than that... it doesn't really give me an answer, but at least it is something I can trust Him for. the why does come back again and again, I think it always will...

I agree. It would be hard either way. My daughter was full-term, 9lbs at birth and physically perfect. She had a day in the NICU before she passed away and they ran a multitude of tests and found no reason for her death either. No placenta or cord issues, no infection, nothing physically abnormal, etc. Her neonatologist literally gave us 100 causes of death and why our daughter didn't have any of those things. He said that our situation is one of only a handful of cases that have effected him personally. And I imagine NICU doctors see a lot so that is saying something. We have no idea what happened. That provides comfort to my husband, like some have said, that her mission on Earth was accomplished or that NOTHING we could have done would have changed what happened. I hope others don't find that offensive, that's just how he feels. I however, feel a lot of frustration knowing that my perfectly easy and healthy pregnancy and delivery resulted in a dead baby. I think that is because it gives me no comfort that there is something I can "change" about next time that will result in a healthy child. I just have to leave some of that up to luck/God/whatever and that drives me crazy! I'm sorry you're experiencing something similar.