Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
It's been 3 months since I delivered my angel baby and I still have all these feelings that I don't know how to deal with and doesn't know anyone else who has to deal with them...
On December 23, 2009 (the day before my birthday) I was told that because of my PCOS I could not get pregnant without the help of fertility medicine. My husband and I were devestated...we know with all our hearts that we are meant to be parents. Then, in April; just 4 months later, we found out we were pregnant. All on our own. I had a pretty easy pregnancy. At one of our check-ups in my first trimester we found out that our little boy had Down's Syndrome. I work with special needs children so I knew what to expect and we were still very much in love with our baby boy. Then it was the morning of my ultrasound and I was 28 weeks pregnant. Our baby sheets had just arrived in the mail before we got in the car to go to the doctor's office. We got there and recieved the most devestating news...he had no heartbeat. I lost it. I was hysterical and so was my husband. We had to go to the hospital and start the process. I delivered my baby at 5 in the morning the next day. We held him and kissed him and said our good-byes. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. We are at the point now where the doctor said we can try again and I'm scared...should we? Shouldn't we? What if it happens again? And what if it takes 2 1/2 years to get pregnant again like the first time? And it seems like everyone around me is pregnant. Someone I know JUST had their first son in September of 2010 and is already 6 weeks pregnant and I lost it at that news...WHY IS IT SO EASY FOR SOME?? Will I ever be at the point where I can hear that news and not want to just stop breathing...?
On December 23, 2009 (the day before my birthday) I was told that because of my PCOS I could not get pregnant without the help of fertility medicine. My husband and I were devestated...we know with all our hearts that we are meant to be parents. Then, in April; just 4 months later, we found out we were pregnant. All on our own. I had a pretty easy pregnancy. At one of our check-ups in my first trimester we found out that our little boy had Down's Syndrome. I work with special needs children so I knew what to expect and we were still very much in love with our baby boy. Then it was the morning of my ultrasound and I was 28 weeks pregnant. Our baby sheets had just arrived in the mail before we got in the car to go to the doctor's office. We got there and recieved the most devestating news...he had no heartbeat. I lost it. I was hysterical and so was my husband. We had to go to the hospital and start the process. I delivered my baby at 5 in the morning the next day. We held him and kissed him and said our good-byes. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. We are at the point now where the doctor said we can try again and I'm scared...should we? Shouldn't we? What if it happens again? And what if it takes 2 1/2 years to get pregnant again like the first time? And it seems like everyone around me is pregnant. Someone I know JUST had their first son in September of 2010 and is already 6 weeks pregnant and I lost it at that news...WHY IS IT SO EASY FOR SOME?? Will I ever be at the point where I can hear that news and not want to just stop breathing...?
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a devastating blow to hopefull mommies. You have found a wonderful place here and although I have only been a member for a few days; I have already found great support and great woman on here. I, too, lost my firstborn Nicholas at 23 weeks 5 days on 1/6/11 and am so saddened.
I have only lost Nicholas two weeks ago, but all I can think about is being a mom. My doctor said that I could try once I start ovulating and changed his mind about waiting 2 cycles. I am afraid, just like you, and realize that although I know I will be worried throughout the pregnancy; the joy of being pregnant needs to outweigh that fear. You have to feel ready, emotionally and physically...nobody can tell you when that will be...
PS...I hear everyone say how fertile you are after having a baby; so maybe it will be easier for you...I am hoping and praying for you.
THIS IS THE BEST PLACE FOR YOU. I HAVE MET SOME WONDERFUL PEOPLE HERE WHO CAN LIFT MY SPIRITS WITH SIMPLY A WARM HELLO. IT'S NICE TO HAVE A PLACE TO GO TO SHARE YOUR ANGEL AND YOUR SORROW WITH OTHERS WHO TRULY UNDERSTAND.
TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME.
HUGS, LOVE & RAINBOWS!
Nneka
It all depends on how you feel, if you feel you are ready for this, then go for it, but if you feel you need some more time then dont push yourself. You will know when the time is right.
Hugs and prayers to you
I lost my son on october 8 2010. My nephew was born sept 1st. And a friend had her lil girl october 10, 2010.(2 days after my sons death). It can be hard because they are doing the things I should be doing. And they post things on facebook like " so tired the baby kept me up all night" or " baby had first food today!" And I do get a little jealous but at the same time im truly happy for them.
Im gointo look a there kid in a positive way though. When they are 10 my son should have been ten so I can look at their kids andknow what shows he would have liked or maybe sport he would have been into. It will be bitter sweet.
I know the struggles of not being able to get pregnant and how emotional that is. You were blessed once with getting pregnant naturally and who is to say you wont be again. We have one shot left with IVF with my insurance. I told my husband before we ever started IVF that if it does not work we have to be OK with just the two of us and is that enough if that is what God has in his plan for us? It was something we both had to think about and we both decided that the love we have for each other is so strong that it will get us through anything (sad it had to be tested so early on), but to not try we would always be wondering "what if".
Good luck to you. Always here if you need to talk.