Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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/ Stillbirth Support Group

My loss at 41 weeks

mrsallison
mrsallison

hi mamas,


we lost our son on March 7, one week after his due date. His heart stopped beating sometime while I was labouring at home. I delivered him the next day which was the hardest thing I have ever done - he was 8lbs 9oz of pure wonder.


his death has no cause right now, no knots or infections or anything. All tests came back negative. So we have no answers.


my pregnancy was perfect and I loved it so much. This journey i had waited my whole life for - was amazing and his kicks and dances inside of me was joyous! 


i suffer alongside with you all. I feel the guilt, the anger, I cry and yell and beg for a different outcome. I make wishes constantly. 


Tavi was cremated and we brought his ashes home, I wrapped him in a blankie his dadda had picked out, we tucked a few photos of us in there along with the snips of hair we took and the first hospital blanket he touched. Then I opened up the tummy of a soft brown bear I had (I had called my son "Tavi bear" as his nickname when I was pregnant with him) and I put him inside the bear and sewed him up. I sleep with him every night, and when we need comfort during the day, my husband or I will bring him to the couch for a cuddle. Someday we will think of releasing him somewhere special, but for now he's home with us.


i am still healing physically, and part of me can't wait to get better and try again, but I know we need time to heal.


we have joined a parents group here in my city that meets tonight - our first time going. 


i wish everything was different and that he was home with us. I wish that for you too.


much love to all of you.

Celian
Celian
I am so sorry to see you join this club that no one wishes to be part of. Your Tavi sounds real special and I too wish he was here. My sincerest condolences and heartfelt good wishes as you navigate through this difficult season of grief. Sending you peace. xx
BabyV
BabyV
My sincerest condolences to you and like Calian I pray every time I log in that there's no new story. What we go through is something we never wish would've happened. Today I went to choose my baby's gravestone, selected pictures for her life portrait and the coloring of the bronze. While I was there I kept thinking "This is not what I should be doing!" my baby girl was supposed to be born this coming April...she passed at 21 weeks 1 day December 7, 2016 (almost 4 months ago). Prayers to you my dear.
Jujubean
Jujubean
I am sorry for your loss. I just suffered a stillbirth on Thursday and there is nothing at all comparable to the pain from this. :/ I am glad your Tavi found a comfortable resting place in his teddy bear with you at home. I hope one day you get to have another baby but I also know your feelings won't be the same about it ever again. I lost my firstborn too and it sucks so very bad. Like you, we were told there was no apparent reason for the loss which makes it 10x harder to deal with accepting. Would not wish this on my worst enemy. Ever.
momatheart2715
momatheart2715
I am sorry for your loss. My husband and I are about 6 weeks out from the loss of our daughter. Everyday is a struggle. Some days we are stronger than others. Life has gotten back to somewhat of our normal routine before all this. We are going to try again in a couple of months. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel better. You just have to grieve, if you need to cry then cry. Our final autopsy isn't back but we lost our daughter at 40 weeks to what seems to be a true knot in her cord.