I lost mary feb 17th from loss of amniotic fluid at 36 weeks, and I have a tough time at night to. It's quiet, dark, and there are no distractions, and we are left with are thoughts. If I am not activly trying mt mind wanders back to the day I deliver and moments when mary would kick so hard she would move things on my stomach. I think this hard part of our life is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions for a long time and we just need to hang in there. Just wanted you to know I will be thinking of you.

I know that feeling. My son also passed away for a cord accedent. And the pain got worse. I think because I was a denying his death a little. I didn't want to believe that could happen to him or to me. I didn't want to execpt that as my story or his story. I never thought it could happen to me or him. But with everyday that passes it becomes less likely that im going to wake up from this dream. I desperately want it to be a dream.

I don't think the pain goes away, ever. I know a woman whos son was born still 29 years ago and she cried when she told me about him. Someone on here told me we never move on, we live on. I believe its true.
Your in the right place if you are looking for supportive wonderful people to grieve with.
Im sorry you have to be apart of this group but you are very welcomed.

My Annaya was heaven born at 37 weeks on my 37th birthday, August 27th. She was perfectly healthy. Almost 7 months later, my emotions are up and down.

This is the best place to come to heal. There are so many Angels remembered here and you will find people at different levels of grief.

My heart aches for and with you.

Hugs,
Nneka

I'm so sorry you have a need to be here. But I am thankful you are here this is a great place to find support and encouragment and understanding. Unfortunately I found the grief harder around 3 months. But then not so bad at 5 months. Its a roller coaster of ups and downs. And it comes for me in waves. Wishing you peace.

I am sorry for your loss.
I am a newer Angel Mommy on here as well But I have found that this group has helped everyone here is so supportive and they dont judge you. Just say what you feel and dont be afraid of what people think because we all understand we are all angel mommys.
I lost my Adalyn on February 26, 2011 We dont know what caused it yet testing is still being done. We got an autopsy done and her placenta was sent off because it was really small the doctor said that is what could of caued it but we are still waiting for all the tests to come back..

HUGS!

First of all, I am very very sorry for your loss. But rest assure you have come to the right place. Your story is all to famaliar, because the same thing happened to my baby girl Timper Jean. I was 4 days shy of 40 weeks with a perfectly healthy happy baby, and a very happy and healthy mommy. Only to be told that she was gone. I delivered her the next afternoon. She was 6 lbs 3 oz and 19 in long. A perfect beautiful sleeping baby. Until she came out, we were not sure what had cause her to go on to heaven. Once she was out the answer was very clear. Her umbilical cord was so tight around her neck, the dr had me stop pushing once her head was out to cut it away from her neck.
So I know exactly how you must feel. My daughter was born on May 28, 2010. I have been told the same things as you. And I too talk about her all of the time. I have found it so helpful and so theraputic. You just do whatever your heart desires. Talking and praying are the best things to do I have found. Share your story, and don't let anyone eer make you feel like you are not a mom. Bc you are! Hang in there. My daughter would be 9 mths now, and it is still just as hard some days as it was that first month. Not for as long bit just as strong when it comes on. There is no such thing as getting worse or better. Grief is such a long hard process, and it's something I have been told and have discovered, is something that we never really get over. You just get through your hard times and days one day at a time, and keep moving forward with life. Grief is not like a ladder and you climb the steps to the top, and once your there you are healed. It's more like a roller coaster with ups and downs and loops and twists and turns. I remember just a few months ago I had about a week of a very dark ugly really hard time. My husband was so confused he didn't understand how I was doing so good and was so happy for so long..... And then wham, it all changes! But that's how it is. You can be good for days or even weeks.... And then WHAM! It just comes with the territory. And I know that you feel like your son is well worth it!!
Keep your head up and keep doing whatever you feel is right. Talk, talk, talk, and pray, pray, pray. Just whatever you do don't stuff your thoughts and feelings or try to ignore them and cover them up with something. And just know that you have a friend in me and many oter here. And most of all, you are not alone. Lots and lots of prayers or you and your family.

thank you all.
I was told so many times "it'll get better", but you are all right - it never goes away and it's more of a roller coaster than linear. Just when I think things are ok, WHAM- i'm crying uncontrollably and falling into despair again.
Thank you for being supportive - I know you understand. :(

I'm so sorry that you ever even heard the word stillbirth... I'm sorry that you have to be here, but since you are, we're here to support you. Always *HUGS*

I know it is hard. I love the fact that you wont stop talking about him. I am doing the same. Our stories are slightly different but all of us here are togther because our grief is something most people will never understand. The best thing about being apart of our group is that we all have been there/ are there and the support you get from this group is priceless. For a long time I thought I was going to go crazy. This group has helped me realize that all of us are so similar. We are not alone. The love we have had for our angels lives on through us. I'm sorry you are here but glad you found this group.

I often think the pain gets worse on some days. I think that first month I was so numb I didn't feel the pain's real intensity. My daughter was born still at 36. 3 weeks on November 30th. Some days are better than others now, but nights are alwasy rough. I'm very sorry about your little boy. Know that you've found a place where you can vent and feel supported. Hugs, Kelsey

SIGH. Thank you.
I've gotten very attached to this site. I feel like it's a place with real people who understand what I'm going through and who I understand as well. Thank you. really.
I am doing ok. I had a really bad day yesterday (I let myself fall into self-pity and that is simply NOT who I am), but I forced myself to go to dinner with a friend and that helped. I'm better today. One of my students had a dream about my son (that's a whole other story), and while I've been crying soooo much, I'm at peace.
Roller coaster indeed.

I am so sorry for your loss NO one should every have this happen!! However it happens far to offen and no one even knows I was 40 weeks went in to labor on 12/28/10 and when I got to the hospital they could not find a heart beat Justin also had the cord wraped around his neck twice and his leg. I feel your pain and wish so much that there was a way to fix this for all of us!! All I can say it talk about about it and let it out, I have my good days and my bad we send a balloon with messages every month so far and I have found alot of songs I really like it you want a list let me know. I find if I am busy I am good its when I am alone and it quiet that it hits the hardest. ((((Hugs))))

I too lost my Angel to a cord accident. She was perfect at 37 weeks, 6 days when she came sleeping into this world on January 23, 2011. My pregnancy was also without any complications. She had a knot in her cord and that caused her death. I have had many bad days & nights since that Sunday. The 1st 3 weeks were nothing but despair and heart wrenching pain. It still hurts, and I still cry every day but now I have some days that are OK, not just bad. I hope your days & nights get a little easier. I am so sorry that you have also experienced such a terrible, life-altering thing.

I hope this place is a comfort to you, as it has been to me. Use this as a place to tell any and every feeling you have since only those who have been through this horrible, tragic experience can relate (although I've heard many times that people "understand and have been through it too"). It does get better, but I don't believe it will ever go away. I will always wonder what my twins would have been like on any given day, and will feel the sadness associated with the emptiness. Hugs and Peace to you.

Thanks all for sharing the views..

I am from India and my wife left me with 7 years old daughter and me and my daughter have the great bonding .. my wife is not allowing me to speak to her nor to meet her ... My daughter is my life .. i have being thrown out of my house by cops as my wife called them and she said he he stays here then she will commit suicide so I have to leave the house and I am staying away from my own house ... ..

I miss my daughter a lot .. and I play with her toys .. I love her a lot ..
What shall I do ..???