Wouldnt it be wierd if it was any other way? that our babies would be dead and we simply forgot about them? I have encountered a few loss moms who said they completely healed and "let go" of their ead babies. It often sends me a back...although I know that everyone grieves differently..and I must accept that..
I have also heard that having a living child, before or after your loss gives you a tremendous amount of happiness to sit beside your sadness, I hope that is the case for you Martha, ofcourse Eli and all our children are missed beyond words. Hugs my dear friend.

I know somewhat what you mean. I have two living children. They bring me great joy; but they don't take away any of the pain of losing my Nolan. And one of the things that hurts the most is the loss my children are going through. The fact that they are missing out on their little brother and he is missing out on them makes my heart ache. They were supposed to grow up together.

Thanks ladies....
It's a pain that will never heal.... And that hurts! This season I know its supposed to be cheerful etc... But it is when I get more depressed... Everyone is excited about it and talking about gifts for they children etc.... And I guess at times they noticed they are making me feel uncomfortable and they stop them selves from talking about it.... They already talk about my baby when he gets here... With this pregnancy I am taking a day at the time. Because with Eli we had so many plans, dreams, excitement of him coming to the world...and we were simply not ready for him to leave us soooo soon before he was even born.

I have people tell me to "let go" seriously that makes me furious... How can I let go the love I have for Eli...how to let go the fact that he's not here... I have memories of him and will never ever let go.... That's what keeps me alive!