Im sorry for your loss, it is extremely overwhelming and heartbreaking, the shock of it comes in waves, the pain, anger, sadness, all the emotions, you learn to manage them, live through them, control them as much as you can. With your family I would tell them how they can help you, my family and friends where the same, they didnt know what to do, so I told them my greatest fear was that he would be forgotten, I wanted to talk about my son, I want them to mention him even if it invokes an emotional response, I want his name to be in our memories, not just a forgotten moment in time no one wants to talk about. However no one knows how you feel, sometimes that is too much for people, so just tell your family what to do, how they can help. You should be meeting with your doctor to talk about what they found when they looked at the placenta, though there may be no solid answers, and thats the hardest. I dont know what happened, there were many factors that go in a circle and they dont know what caused what, and you replay everything your mind as if you could change what happened. You take it one day at a time, one step at a time, balancing grieving and living until you find your new normal. I would say find something to do that honors Parker, my daughter and I used to sing twinkle twinkle little star to him when he was in my tummy, so now we sing it to him in heaven every night. I made special blankets in his memory to donate to other moms that lose their babies, Im getting a tattoo that will remind me of my babies, things that help me remember and feel better. Everyone is different, in time youll find what helps, but I find doing something every day as part of your routine to remember your baby helps, it ensures you have at least that one moment every day to connect with them even though theyre not there, never feels like theyre forgotten. It will come in waves, just tell people what you need from them and take your time healing physically and emotionally.

I am so sorry about baby Parker. Welcome, although I sincerely wish you never needed to find us, this is a very safe and supportive place to release all that you are feeling. Where your family and friends are tip toeing around you, we here understand every crazy emotion that comes with this very devastating loss, and don't mind if you express anger, confusion, jealousy, sadness, fear of going crazy..whatever. Suppressing grief is an impossible task...the only way to work with it is to let it express itself..we never "get over" our babies, but with patience and understanding, we learn to live with our loss.

Most people just don't say anything because they don't know what to say. Like Zinger14382 I made it clear to my family that I don't want Emma Rose to be forgotten and I talk about her all the time. At work as well, everybody knows that they can ask me about my experience and talk about it because it helps me. It makes it feel like she was real to them too. And the minute I gave them permission it was like they all let out a sigh of relief. They don't flood me with questions or anything but they're not shy to bring it up which I find comforting. I guess my point is that nobody really knows how to act around you and it's up to you to guide them and to let them know what will work for you.
It will be up and down for a long time still to come and I don't think there is a one size fits all. Talking helps me, but it might be different for you. Just follow your instincts and be selfish. No matter how anybody else feels you do what is right for you. Your well being, both physically and emotionally is all that matters now.

Thank you guys :) I have my good days and I have my bad days. I think I am going to do something that will help other parents like getting some SD cards and donating them to the hospital, I think this will help me. I am glad to have found this site and have others to talk with about this hard time. I always talk about him and have pictures up as it helps me cope day to day.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Evelyn at 24 weeks on October 15, 2014. It has been 4 months but the pain has not subsided. Like mommy Zinger stated, the pain does come in waves. One day you think you are ok and the next, you find yourself breaking down. I hope that you and your husband find the closure you need to get through this. I lost my Evelyn due to her umbilical cord being wrapped too tightly around her left leg and it cut off her blood supply. I am still asking myself why this had to happen to me. Every mommy in this forum is super supportive and loving. You and your angel are in my thoughts.