I always wanted to be a mother and loved children. I never thought a day will come when i will lose all the hopes to mother a child. I had infertility issues but was hopeful for a miracle or a chance to try treatments when the time comes. Last year this time i was so happy when i was pregnant with my miracle baby conceived naturally after almost 4 years of trying. I never thought all my dreams and hopes will be shattered and i will return back to the same point of trying and visiting doctors.
After my loss at 32 weeks ( cause unknown or preeclampsia no proper explanation), i have been trying again. I was given hopes that since i did conceive once i will be able to conceive again and very soon but i am not that lucky. It has been almost 9 months now since my loss. Me and my husband wanted to invest all our saving and try for IVF before going for adoption ( which is itself a difficult and lengthy process) but today i got the worst diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve which means my ovaries are not producing egg and i have almost no chance even with IVF. I will never go for the donor egg and now i think i will just have to live a childless life with the short memory of my baby in my womb.
Life is very cruel.