Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Just when I thought I was doing good (vent)

AurorasMom
AurorasMom
I've been having some good days lately, I feel guilty about having them though. Last night my husband and I went out and was having a good time. I drank a little too much and spiraled into a very dark hole. Accused my husband of not caring as much as I do. It turned very ugly and we did not sleep in the same bed last night. Today I feel like I'm right back to the day it happened. I feel like I just want to go and be with my daughter. I feel so alone even though I have great family and a great husband. Being in this dark hole sucks.
aelliott220
aelliott220
I am so sorry for your hurt and pain. I can relate 110%. In the middle of booking a trip to Disneyland a month or so ago for this summer I broke down and said we shouldn't be going b/c if our angel Matthew was here we wouldn't be going. We cannot punish ourselves for finding happiness or feeling it. We cannot sabotage our chance at smiling. I was very lucky my husband realized what was going on the moment I broke down and we worked through it. The grief has a very ugly side sometimes if we don't allow ourselves to work through it and not mask it in other ways. You are doing the best you can. There is no right way to deal with this. I think being able to share what is going on here helps. Keep your head up!
Rochelle43
Rochelle43
It is very hard to deal with this type of situation. I, too, felt guilty whenever I found a moment of happiness at the time. I also had felt that if people saw me "happy" and smiling they would think I was "over it," which I certainly was not.

It's all up and down. You will experience this on and off. Just do the best you can, like you already are. It's all one day at a time.

Try to grab ahold of those "happy" moments if you can. You need those to get you through this, because you will have your share of the sad days as well.

Hugs to you!
Celian
Celian
I am sorry Aurora's mom, that you are going through such a hard time. I pray you find strength for today. Grief is a life sentence for us mothers, there is no end date to it. We now live one day at a time. Sending you love, from Sinza's mummy.
MalaysiaMaysMommy
MalaysiaMaysMommy
I am sorry Aurora's mom that you are feeling this way. I also have a great support system but I still know that feeling of being alone. My husband is always telling me that he can't be happy because I am not and that I will mistake his happiness for not caring. I have not tried to be happy yet and I am sure that I will probably feel guilty when I do. It is important for us to try and enjoy our times with our husbands so that we can remember how we feel in love with them in the first place. Remember that he is in a great amount of pain also. I know it's hard because men grieve so differently from us.