Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Irritated

mommytoanangel107
mommytoanangel107
Ok I know I'm being irrational and hormonal and blowing this out of proportion but I just need to vent..

So a friend of mine, well of my older brothers actually so more of an acquaintance is pregnant. With my dads cousins baby, so my second cousin (confusing I know, stay with me). Anyways shes about 12 weeks pregnant, not only do I have to see her mushy Facebook status' every Other freakin day, but I just got an event invite for a 'guess the gender of the baby' party in September. Why in the hell would se think I would be even slightly interested in going?! For shits sake, I skipped both my own best friends and cousins baby showers.

I know I'm being stupid and irrational but it just really upset me. Like people really don't seem to get it after you lose a baby, no I don't want to hold your kid, no I don't want to celebrate that your pregnant, no I don't want to hear about your 35 hour labor that resulted in you getting to take a precious baby home with you, no I don't want to babysit or hold your baby during your brothers wedding. And no- I don't want to go to your damn guess the baby gender guessing party.
terranickole
terranickole
You're not irrational I feel the same way I don't want to hear or see anything about my friends and their new babies or pregnancies, why would I?
Motek18
Motek18
See, I was the opposite of you. My fiance's 2 sisters are both pregnant, one of my best friends is pregnant and my other best friend has a baby. After I lost my daughter I wanted to hold their kids and play with them. It made me feel better because I didn't want to become a bitter person over losing my daughter. Don't get me wrong, it's still hard. But I just look forward to trying again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your feelings are understandable. . Don't let anyone tell you when you "should be over it" or what you should do. Just do what you know is right for you and for your healing.
mommytoanangel107
mommytoanangel107
Motek, usually I am the same exact way. I had a cousin, best friend and 6 close friends all pregnant at the same time as me, all of our due date a week a part back to back to back. I have since held and loved on all of their babies, tho it is hard I knew it was something that I need to do. I also have a 15 month old niece who I absolutely adore and watch 2 days a week. So I'm around babies ALOT.

My sister in law and the girl I'm talking about in this post are both due around January- around the same time that will be one year since my son Mason was born. I feel like since I was so strong and positive from the get go, people take that as I'm 'over it' or I'm done grieving, when in all reality it's still fresh. I think because people have seen me as some sort of pillar of strength, they talk about babies and pregnancy ALL THE TIME. And yes I know life goes on and pregnancy happens, but is that really all there is to talk about?! I want to talk about it on my terms, when I bring it up. I see it this way- if someone's dad died, you wouldn't sit there and talk about all the amazing things your dad does and how great it is having a dad woul you? What's the difference here?