I had a friend tell me to move on recently... I told her that I won't be able to get over losing Victoria, that I will move foward but she will always be a part of me. Yes, time does seem to heal the initial shock and sudden shattering of our souls but the wound is still there, with a scab on it that is easily ripped off. It will never completely heal. She will always be a part of my story, who I am and who I will be, I will not forget her or get over the loss of her. I love her and always will.

I agree, she doesn't have a right saying anything to you about you're grieving process, you're angel child.
Unfortunately it will never be something anyone can even try to relate to unless they've been through something like this before. I'm very sorry that you're "friend" is so insensitive to your situation. You're strong and if you see me online please feel free to chat with me ANYTIME you need someone to chat with.
For what to say to somene who's telling you to get over it, just tell them you don't want to hear things like that. I think you handled it in the correct way, and all your family and friends can do is sit back help you through it and be there when you need someone to talk to or lean on.
Love & Hugs to you

Its hard when the people youre close to dont understand what your going through. They dont realize that you are not the same person that you were before and they shouldnt expect you to be. Youre life has been forever changed. They dont understand that your life now consists of a before and after. For me I call it my life before Sydney and my life now after Sydney. My son has forever changed the person that I am today. I miss him so much but I would never give up the short time I shared with him to have my old life back. For me, I try to only spend time with the people who try to understand and who honor my sons life by accepting who I am today, mom of an angel. Its hard to do but I try to tell them how Im feeling. If your friend doesnt like what you have to say then thats her problem, not yours. Our loving bond with our angels is forever and they will always be a part of us. We shouldnt have to pretend like they didnt exist.

I went to a grief support group in November and it was not until I brought Annaya's picture into the room and they SAW a beautiful baby who simply looked like a sleeping baby, they did not understand my grief. We then talked about society's views on our Angel Babies. Since our babies never lived beyond our bodies... they do not consider it to be a loss, unless we show them their pictures.

Although our babies only knew our heartbeats and the muffled voices from beyond the darkness of our wombs, we mourn our dreams of what life would be like with them here.

So, I'm going to step beyond my character for a moment. To those with the "get over it" attitude, I simply smile and say with determination "Kiss my Azz and Love (not like) it". My stepmom taught me that and honestly, I do feel better after those words flow from my lips and YES I have said that a couple of times. It's 2011 not 1911 or 1811, almost EVERYTHING GOES these days. Why is our loss still a taboo?

Hugs, Love & Rainbows!!!
Nneka

I don't think you ever move on you just learn how to live with it. The pain will hopfully get easier but I don't feel like you ever get over it. Hang in there.

One on my friends did they same thing. I told her that there is no moving on from something like this...

I have heard all the same things from the people around me. When they come from people close to you it hurts the most. What I want people to know is that nothing they say will ever make anything better, so, sometimes, I just wish they would not say anything and just hug me when I spontaneously burst into tears. I have been going to counceling, but, very few people know. I'll never forget my sister telling me that I need to go to counceling because she has nothing new to say to me. It hurt because she doesn't understand that it's not about having someone say the perfect thing. It's just about quiet, patient love.

I have this problem with my parents. Minimize my loss every time the subject comes up. They also tell me to move on with life. Blah blah blah. Im in college full time. I take care of my husband and our daughter. Were about to buy our first house. Life keeps moving but I will never move one. I will never look back and not be sad. It doesn't happen. I know a lady who I used to work with (my sister currently works with her) who told me she lost her son 30 somethig years ago ( I don't remeber any more exactly how long) she told me all about him and she cried. Mother don't move on. It changes who we are. I try to avoid see my parents and when I do I try not to talk about it. I should tell them not to give advice. I should tell them that THEY should be sad cause they lost a grandchild. And your friends daughter lost what could have been a best friend. She should ne sad for her daughter and for you. No on really gets it.

My family tells me all the time to get over it. Your right they don't understand what we've been through. You can't just get over it.