I think every one who has ever lost a baby like we have share those feelings. It was scary the first time b/4 somthing went wrong. Hang in there and know that women who have the dissorder go on to have healthy babys and there are also other options to be a mother. Know that we will all be thinking of you.

Take your time. That's the only advice I can give you. I'm pregnant again, and it's not easy. However, I'm experiencing some of the worst morning sickness, so to be honest, I don't have a lot of time to worry....because all I can do is sleep, try and keep food down, and moan and wail about how ill I feel. That being said, I do still worry. The day before I go to any appt, I feel dread and fear. I worry that I'll go and they won't find any heartbeats (I'm carrying twins.) I worry that I'll never get to the finish line and see these babies alive. It's natural to fear what may happen in a future pregnancy, but there are plenty of women who go through what we've been through, and go on to have healthy living rainbow babies. Just because it's happened once, doesn't mean it will happen again. However, as we know, there's no guarantee of anything anymore.

I think the main thing that most people say is this: when the desire to have another child outweighs the fear of it happening again, you know you're ready. It doesn't mean that you won't have fear and anxiety in a subsequent pregnancy, it just means that you have the will to try again, and the hope for a different outcome.

Take your time, and allow yourself to grieve. You'll know when the time comes when you're ready to try again.

Hugs, Sam.

I'd say your'e normal. Most of us who lost our first child wonder the same thing. And those who already had children often wonder if they'll be able to have anymore. It sucks thinking that way. Like you said, it's scary. But all we can really do is try, hope, and pray. I hear it's worth it when you have the next baby alive and healthy.

So my advice to you is to consider trying again when you are ready and when the fear is less. I don't think that fear will ever completely go away because even after you do have one, you'll still know the reality that not all of them make it into your arms so you might still be a little nervous for even the 3rd one. Also think about how they at least know about your clotting disorder this time and have a plan to manage it. At least that might be able to give you a better feeling about the next baby making it. People with no answers at all are just giving it a shot in the dark. Hugs to you.

There is nothing wrong with the way that you are thinking. We are all afraid, terrified. I have NO answers as to why my daughter died, not even an idea. But, I am going to try again because I want so badly to have a living breathing baby. Am I terrified? Yes. But, the question I ask myself is am I more scared of the thought of possibly having another loss? Or am I willing to just give up my dream of having a family, a living breathing baby? To me, the thought of giving up my dream is more scary.

When I first lost Kaylee, I said that was it, I am not trying ever again, I will go on without any living children because I am not going thrut this again, but over time, my feelings changed. I have to try again, even if I am going to be terrified throughout the whole pregnancy, I have to. And hopefully I will get that positive outcome and it will be so worth it. And if I dont, well it will still be worth it because Kaylee was SO worth it. Even though she isnt here with me, I would never go back and wish that I had never gotten pregnant with her. I would never take it back. Our children are making us who we are, they changed our lives.

As far as the clotting disorder goes, try not to get too woried about it, there are tons of woman who have clotting disorders and manage to have healthy babies, and now that they know about it, they will give you medication to manage it when you are pregnant. I know this is all so scary, but remember that Sophia would want you to live your life and she would never want you to give up, or stop trying for the family that you want. When you are ready, you will know and you will put all the fear aside in the hopes for a healthy baby.

Hi there. I wrote part of this on another post but thought you might benifit from it as well. I know how you are feeling because I've had those same feelings. Don't let them consume you. I was diagnosed with PSD type 3 with a factor 2 mutation. Long story short I'm missing a certain protein that stops my blood from clotting on itself. Hence the reason I had 2 minor strokes and developed a blood clot that got trapped in the cord cutting off my sweet Destin's life line. I have taken several blood thinners and now control with asprin to keep it under control. If I get a sever migrain I have to go in to make sure it's not a clot, same with things like sever leg cramps. If I ever get pregnant again (My tubes are tied) Then I have to look at taking more meds to help my body cope. BUT, there is good news. I was able to have my rainbow baby. Yes, it took very close monitoring and lots of doctor apointments but it happened. There is hope and I'm sending mine to you too.

I know. I feel the same. I feel terrible that my fiancee had to endure this also, and that he wouldn't have had this happen if he had been with someone else. I remind myself that I am worthy of love, with or without a living child. Yes, I will have to inject myself daily with blood thinners when we begin trying again. I think of it like this: we do what we have to do. We all gave birth to our angel babies and have endured. If you need to inject blood thinners you will because you will have to and you ARE strong. HUGS and maybe we'll be getting injections around the same time???:) We plan to TTC in June/July.

I have a clotting disorder and do not need to have any injectable drugs in my new pregnancy. I would try not to worry as much about that because you just don't know a) what the new tests will say and b) what the remedy will be. There is enough to worry about without thinking of the million things you can't control or know about yet!

Easier said than done...I still feel guilty every day even though I logically know there is nothing I did or didn't do and no way I could have known was was wrong/going to happen. There are "TTC After Stillbirth" and "Pregnancy after stillbirth" groups if you want to ask some questions there. Everyone has to be brave and believe, and at some point you will get there if you do want to try again.