Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
I found out I was pregnant in May of 2009 and immediately told everyone because I was so happy. I miscarried at 7wks. My coworkers were all very supportive and prayed that I would cnceive again very soon. I had conceived by Dec 2009, but didn't tell anyone for awhile. When we told everyone, they were very happy for us.
We hired a new girl shortly after that, she has 5 kids and claims she doesn't want anymore. Two months later, she tell us she's 13wks pregnant. Coworkes were shocked and even joked about her having a "tribe". They were still more exited about me, which made me feel good, besides I've been trying for another baby and have been working here years so they naturally would be more interested in me. They had a babyshower planned for me already.
May 27, 2010 I give birth to my stillborn daughter. Evryone is in shock, they write cards of sympathy and disbelief. I come back to work 6 weeks later and find veryone avoiding me.
Now the pregnant girl is HUGE, having a baby girl in Nov. She's perfectly healthy. People make a fuss over her all day, and I am avoided like the plague. The babyshower planning is now for her. In a matter of 2 months my life had changed dramaticly and my work environment along with it.
I hate how unfair life is. I wanted another baby soo badly. Don't get me wrong, she is happy to have another one on the way and I don't want her to lose hers, but damn life is unfair. It's like life has conducted a sick experiment at my work to give us all a lesson on the ruthless nature of life.
We hired a new girl shortly after that, she has 5 kids and claims she doesn't want anymore. Two months later, she tell us she's 13wks pregnant. Coworkes were shocked and even joked about her having a "tribe". They were still more exited about me, which made me feel good, besides I've been trying for another baby and have been working here years so they naturally would be more interested in me. They had a babyshower planned for me already.
May 27, 2010 I give birth to my stillborn daughter. Evryone is in shock, they write cards of sympathy and disbelief. I come back to work 6 weeks later and find veryone avoiding me.
Now the pregnant girl is HUGE, having a baby girl in Nov. She's perfectly healthy. People make a fuss over her all day, and I am avoided like the plague. The babyshower planning is now for her. In a matter of 2 months my life had changed dramaticly and my work environment along with it.
I hate how unfair life is. I wanted another baby soo badly. Don't get me wrong, she is happy to have another one on the way and I don't want her to lose hers, but damn life is unfair. It's like life has conducted a sick experiment at my work to give us all a lesson on the ruthless nature of life.
People just don't know what to say to us. They figure that it is better to ignore us as they think they'll upset us if they say anything. What they don't realize is that we are upset so no matter what and that by ignoring us it is making it worse.
It's like they think we'll forget our angels if no one mentions them. How frustrating!
I am a Christian, and I try to think that this is all part of God's plan etc, but sometimes I get so mad and it feels like He's played a big practical joke on me. Letting me think for 9 months that I'm going to have a baby and then in one day it all changes.
I've found that people don't want to say anything because they are scared to upset me. Like I have forgotten or something. Like I don't think about Kylie every day? Its not like we are going to say "Oh yeah I had totally forgotten that my baby died THANKS ALOT for reminding me!" lol
Well hun I think they would have made an even BIGGER fuss over you at 9 months. I'm sure they all love you and value your friendship. The pregnant new girl is probably like the big elephant in the room... literally. Quite honestly, I've found that people just don't have a clue about what would upset me and what wouldn't. I don't think they know that pregnant women upset us. I'm sure once she pops things will be close to being back to normal for you at work.. at least I hope so!
Don't loose hope... you will be expecting a rainbow! It is just a matter of when!
Yeah I think people just don't realize what happens to us after losing a baby. NOTHING is ever the same again, not only do we have to live the pain of our loss but we have to worry about what others think of us or what they will say or do next that may trigger a breakdown. Their live keep moving on while mine has stopped and they tell you "cheer up" or "smile, it can't be that bad", I want to tell them to F...off! Sorry. Thanks again ladies for your support.
My nephew and his girlfriend are due any day now and they have had problems with the pregnancy for the duration. They are young and (pardon my french) dumb... yet my niece will be born shortly. My sister actually called to ask me for everything I have since I won't be using it any time soon. They even gave their baby my daughter's name as her middle name.
Life is not fair... A cousin by marriage is having an affair with a married man and is expecting a little girl in Dec.
I don't know which is worse, being ignored or people acting as though our children never existed.