I have been reading these stories for weeks and now I feel like I need to share mine. On May 28th 2016 I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. My boyfriend and I weren't trying to get pregnant so this came as a total shock. I was terrified in the beginning but my boyfriend helped me realize that this baby is a blessing from God and we should embrace this. The next 9 months were pure bliss. My pregnancy was so easy, I was all belly, and we had an overwhelming support system. Our friends and family threw 4 separate baby showers! Everyone was overflowing with excitement! Those 9 months were the happiest days of my life. When I was 39 weeks we went to our doctors appointment and our babies heart rate was a little lower than normal so we did some stress tests and everything checked out fine. At 40 weeks I was scheduled to induce, it was January 24th 2017. We walked into the doctors office giggling and joking with all the nurses. Everyone was happy. My doctor examined me and I was a centameter dilated and we were ready to go! He then began to listen for the heart beat as his nurse called down to the hospital to get a room set up for us. "...Guys there's no heart beat." That sentence haunts me. Ive never experienced such a high and then everything crashing down in matter of seconds. After that sentence everything changed. I knew what was next. I knew that I was entering into the worst day of my life. I knew that I was going to have to give birth to my daughter and that I wasn't go to hear her cry when she left my body. It was the longest day. Her name was Olivia Grace and she was absolutely beautiful. I delivered her at 9:41 pm and held on to her until 3 am. 

It has been almost 6 weeks since I held her. We got the full autopsy report back and she was perfectly healthy. There was nothing wrong with the cord or anything like that. The cause of death was most likely an abnormal heart beat. When our doctor delivered us he said that she had been gone for a couple days. She died inside me and I had no idea...I'm heartbroken. I have no idea how to move forward. I have always been a person of faith but right now I don't know how to trust God. My boyfriend is very strong in his faith and he is doing better than I am. If God has a plan for me why would he bless me with a child that I was not trying to have and then take her away so quickly? Why have me carry her for 9 months just to take her away? My life can't go back to the way it was before Olivia. But how do I move forward without her? I'm so lost and so miserable. Some days are easier to get through than others. But no matter what everyday is a struggle. How do I continue my life?