Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
I have been feeling extremely angry and bitter at my sister. While I was having Sophia, Sarah promised to be there to help me deliver. But her bf threw an immature fit and wanted to take the hour 1/2 long trip back to their house to shower.
Instead of staying with me when she knew my water was broken she left with him and awhile later I gave birth, which was horrible because there was no assistance, no stirrups, and my bf had to hold my legs. I never wanted him to have to be the first one to see his baby girl dead like that.
On the day of Sophia's funeral, my sister showed up drunk and threw a fit because she had to wait 15 minutes for a ride, made a huge mess in my baby girls nursery and was actually about to go home instead of being there for me (again), but "luckily" the ride showed up. A week later she told me she was pregnant. She drinks BEER and smokes cigs constantly even while she's pregnant, like she thinks she's too special for her baby girl to die.
Does it sound like I'm just jealous cause she's having a girl? Sometimes I think I am. But at the same time... she doesn't deserve one. And she totally abandoned me when I needed her most, how can I forgive her? Should I?
Instead of staying with me when she knew my water was broken she left with him and awhile later I gave birth, which was horrible because there was no assistance, no stirrups, and my bf had to hold my legs. I never wanted him to have to be the first one to see his baby girl dead like that.
On the day of Sophia's funeral, my sister showed up drunk and threw a fit because she had to wait 15 minutes for a ride, made a huge mess in my baby girls nursery and was actually about to go home instead of being there for me (again), but "luckily" the ride showed up. A week later she told me she was pregnant. She drinks BEER and smokes cigs constantly even while she's pregnant, like she thinks she's too special for her baby girl to die.
Does it sound like I'm just jealous cause she's having a girl? Sometimes I think I am. But at the same time... she doesn't deserve one. And she totally abandoned me when I needed her most, how can I forgive her? Should I?
deleted_user
Oh man that sucks. I am so sorry. I understand though. My sister is pregnant with her 4th child and its a boy and I am tore up about it. For me it is like she is rubbing it in my face that she can do something better then me. As to your sister. I know she has been difficult to deal with and what she did was inexcusable but you need to be prepared for the outcome of her baby's birth. If she does drink as much as you say she does her daughter may have serious complications if she is born alive. Don't be jealous of that. If your daughter had lived I assume she would have been healthy and loved and taken care of. What of your niece?? Imagine what her little life will be like. If you can not forgive your sister. I understand but don't take it out on your niece when she might need you. I know that is a hard thing to even think about. But I do all the time because I know that if something happened to my sister Tara I would be one of the first in line to take care of her children. No matter how angry I am at her for her choices I still love her children and would do anything for them. I will pray that your heart mends.
deleted_user
I know exactly how you are feeling, believe me. The only thing I can tell myself is until you are in the position of being a mother with empty arms, you can't possibly imagine what it is like. When those around me have "opinions" and reactions I find less than helpful, I just remind myself they have no idea what it is really like. That is why I have found so much comfort hear these last few days after finding this site. My family tries to be supportive, but they truely have no idea what my husband and I go through. I know plenty of people who by the rules of health should not have a baby, it seems totally unfair. Again, thats our hand we were delt and we have to find a way to deal with it. I know I never in a million years thought I would be broken hearted like this. I know in my heart, I would've been the best mother I could be and I can only hope I have a chance again someday. Try to support your sister and be a good influence in your niece's life. I know it put distance between my sister and I, but I love her kids and will continue to hold them dear to my heart, they are my sleeping daughter's cousin after all. Best of luck my fellow angel mom.
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