Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
Hi. I lost my son February 18th at 36 weeks after 4 early pregnancy losses over the past 6 years. The only reason I can get up in the morning lately is for my precious daughter (3.5 years old) who we adopted 3 years ago.
We got the autopsy results last week and there were no chromosome or anything seen in our baby. It makes it somehow harder knowing it is my body. I've had every test done over the past 6 years and the doctors can't find anything. I will have to get tested for lupus again when my hormones go back to normal. The doctor said it may be some unknown blood clotting or autoimmunity problem. I'm 39 and I feel like this was our last chance.
We got the photos from the hospital the other day, but we haven't looked at them yet. I'm afraid to. Did any of you wait to look at them?
I am seeing 2 therapists and just started an antidepressant that has helped a little with the uncontrollable crying alone and in public. I have to go back to work soon (I had a c-section). I work in the customer service industry, so I cannot hide every time I see a newborn or pregnant woman.
I'm glad to have found a group that understands what I'm feeling. I miss my baby so much. My heart literally aches for him.
Thanks.
We got the autopsy results last week and there were no chromosome or anything seen in our baby. It makes it somehow harder knowing it is my body. I've had every test done over the past 6 years and the doctors can't find anything. I will have to get tested for lupus again when my hormones go back to normal. The doctor said it may be some unknown blood clotting or autoimmunity problem. I'm 39 and I feel like this was our last chance.
We got the photos from the hospital the other day, but we haven't looked at them yet. I'm afraid to. Did any of you wait to look at them?
I am seeing 2 therapists and just started an antidepressant that has helped a little with the uncontrollable crying alone and in public. I have to go back to work soon (I had a c-section). I work in the customer service industry, so I cannot hide every time I see a newborn or pregnant woman.
I'm glad to have found a group that understands what I'm feeling. I miss my baby so much. My heart literally aches for him.
Thanks.
I will be praying for you as you return to work and continue on you r grief journey.
Hugs-
Nicole
I too did not get a reason for the loss. From what I have read, that's fairly common. Frustrating, but common.
I am glad you found this group. I hate that you had to join us but I have found such strength and comfort from the women on this board. I hope you can find the same.
If you ever need to chat, I am here for you.
Big hugs!!!
I suggest looking at the photos if and when you're ready. If it would help, I would suggest taking them to a therapy session for added support. What you are feeling is normal, and you do not have to push yourself at all. Just getting out of bed each day is an accomplishment.
I am a bit older too, currently 38, and we are hopefully going to try again sometime soon. I feel the need to TTC as soon as possible, given my age, but we decided to wait for our overall health and mental well-being.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and I am here if you ever need to talk.
The one thing that helped me the most was developing the pictures the hospital took of Maria. Just looking at her makes me feel better. My wonderful husband bought me a heart locket with her name and birthdate on it and I put her picture inside ... it make me feel better that I have her close to my heart all the time.
It will get better....It has taken me 2 weeks to start feeling somewhat normal.
I'm sorry you lost your son. I understand how what you mean about your heart aching, I find my arms aching too. The pictures of my son help sooth me, I love to look at his preciouls little face. It comforts me to see my husband's nose on my son's face.
What is your son's name?
I think you should look at your pictures whenever you are ready. I think its different for each person. We looked at ours right away, and I still love to look at them, but you need to do what is right for you. They have brought me comfort, and I know in time they will for you too!
Hugs, Rebecca
For those of you who wanted to know my son's name, it is Ernest.
His name was going to be Alejandro, after my husband. In Spain (where he is from) they usually name the first son after the father, but when he died we changed it to Ernest. Ernest was both of my grandfathers' names. It didn't seem right naming him after my husband and would have probably been confusing for our daughter.
I am finding a little peace reading some of the poetry too.
Thanks again.
I too would break down --everywhere-- alone or not and would not be able to control it. Grief is not a quick process and you are doing a good thing by expressing your feelings. It would be a lot worse for you to hold them in.
You are in my prayers and please let us hear from you again soon.