I have not experienced this exact thing however in my teens I was very regular. When I went to college and got engaged I went on b/c to get my body used to it well all my hormones went out of whack and I developed PCOS. Basically my ovulation system went to hell. But through the help of my doc I was able to conceive. I lost my third son to stillbirth in 2010 did not ever go on birth control and I am only now just 14 weeks with my rainbow. It took a year and a half to get pregnant. Don't give up hope. Talk to your doctor and if you don't think they are doing everything they can change doctors. No one says you have to keep the one you have. Hope all works out.

Hi there. I am so sorry for what you and your wife are going through. My body went through this same thing. My daughter was born on December 29th 2010. By the time June rolled around I still had not started my period (I was only having very light spotting around the time I would get my periods).

I began researching high risk pregnancy doctors because I knew I wanted a high risk doctor to care for me during my next pregnancy. I was able to find a doctor that both my husband and I liked and trusted.

My new doctor told me that my body was not ovulating and perscibed progestrone pills to kick start my period. 10 days after starting those pills I got my period. My husband and I were blessed and conceived during that cycle.

I'm not sure if your wife has tried progestrone pills, but I highly recommend looking into them and at least trying them. If you or your wife want to message me, please feel welcome to.

Jennifer

I did not. But, I did have some blood work done to see what my hormone levers were 6 weeks after I had Eleanna to see "where I was at". The plan was to give me provera (progesterone) to get a "real" period if one was not on the way.

This is a pretty typical practice in those who are having an-ovulation cycles.

Good luck.

Thank you for the info. After talking about it more with her, I learned she has taken Provera on two different occasions... first from her regular OB/GYN about 8 weeks after the birth, then about 3 months ago when she first started seeing the fertility doctor. Those were the medically induced ones I referred to initially. I just did not know what she had taken. After taking it has been the only two times she has gotten her period. It did not return on its normal cycle on its own either time after taking Provera.

I am so sorry. I wish I had answeres for the both of you. The only other thing I can think of is depression. Naturally we are all very depressed after losing a child, but unfortunately it can take its toll on our bodies...especially our menstral cycles. She may also be very stressed because its stressful when we don't know what's going on inside our bodies, and like depression, it takes its toll. This might be a stretch, but is your wife recieving counceling? I don't know if it will help...I'm just trying to think of other ways to look at this and maybe seeking help in getting her emotional state back to as normal as it can be ( I know that sounds rediculous after what we've been through and are going through)....but it might be worth looking into if she is okay with it.

You both are in my thoughts and prayers!

I keep trying to tell her that, in my opinion, it is more a mental thing than a physical thing and that when her head is better, her body will follow. She does see a counselor... had been weekly at first, now every 2-3 weeks. I go with her whenever I can. I'm a bit frustrated... about a month ago she told me she spent a couple hours on the internet looking up painless ways to commit suicide. She had a meeting with the counselor the following week, which I was unable to attend, as I was rather sick and stuck in bed. I had told her that should be the first thing she brought up, but she apparently did not even mention it to the counselor. Why does she pay so much money for counseling if she can't even open up to the counselor? How is the counselor supposed to help if she withholds this type information?

Oh no. Okay, I'm sure you haven't and I am sure that her statement about suicide has just cut you to the core....but what ever you do, do not take that statement lightly. I think we all have maybe let our mind wonder to those thoughts, but to me, it sounds like your wife is a little too serious about it. We have a bigger problem on our hands now and I am almost convinced that her emotional/mental sate is what is interferring with her cycles, but that will hopefully fall in place later. It is encouraging that she told you this, that was her way of reaching out, and that is a good sign. But we still need to take it seriously. It is my opinion that your wife was more or less asking for help with that comment.

I am going to continue to think about this, but right now I recommend encouraging her to seek help. Maybe she doesn't like her current councelor. There is something going on there that she doesn't feel comfortable enough to truley open up. I don't know if her councelor is male or female, but a female councelor may feel more comfortable to her. Maybe ask her if she would like to find a different concelor. I would also recommend couples counceling. My husband and I are currently doing that....though we have only just started, I have noticed that it truley helps us communicate and listen better, and I think deep communication for both of you are going to be huge right now.

Another suggestion you might want to through out to your wife is journaling. If she isn't already, go buy one for her and when you present the idea (in a loving caring way) present the journal as well. If you leave it up to her, she may never start on her own, but having the journal ready and waiting, she may just take you up on it.

I can only imagine how you are feeling. I truly wish I had answers for you. I'll continue thinking on this, and let you know if I think of anything else. But if I've overstepped my bounds with all my thoughts, please let me know.

Keeping you both in my thoughts.

Maybe it's time to try another counselor.

Are there any support groups in your area. That has helped me a lot as well.

I'll be praying for both of you.

Her counselor is a female... in fact someone who lost a baby about 25 years ago during I believe the 5th month of pregnancy. There is a local support group for stillborn/infant loss that meets monthly that we have gone to (though we missed the last meeting). She desperately wants to be pregnant again and feels a ton of guilt for wanting to wait so long and putting her career and education first before wanting to start a family. That contributes to it. Plus, the political situation in our state (we are both State employees and the new Governor will not be happy until ZERO of us are left... he treats us like we are the Anti-Christ) adds stress as well. I have suggested to her before to try changing counselors, but she insists that won't help. She seems to be a bit better mentally than when she had told me that a month ago, but there are still occasional rough moments. Another fact is that her favorite cat, Petey, is 16 and is showing signs of declining... she got him when he was 2. We have two other cats, a 13 year old and a 5-month old we got in July. But Petey is by far her favorite. Well, everybody in the worlds' favorite once you meet him. We just take it day-by-day still. Hopefully her mind will be less stressed and her body can start functioning properly again. She just wants to be pregnant and be able to see an infant again without breaking out into tears.

The book "Fertility, Cycles and Nutrition" is a very good book to help women regulate their cycles naturally through nutrition and vitamins. It's written by Marilyn M. Shannon. Following her advice helped me get pregnant when I discovered I had a short luteal phase.

There's a doctor that is recommended by people that practice NFP (like us) to couples dealing with infertility. He listens to the couple and works hard to get to the root of their issue without just throwing drugs at it. I can't remember his name, but I'll look it up when I get home and send it to you in a message.

I don't know if any of this will help, but it's the only thing I can think of. I know when we were having some issues getting pregnant, that reading this book and taking actual concrete steps to making the situation better (taking it into my own hands) really helped me mentally and emotionally to feel better. Because that way I felt a little more in control of the situation which helps a lot.

I can totally relate with wanting to be pregnant again.

We were TTC for 5 years before we conceived Eleanna through IVF. We are currently doing another IVF cycle.

I'm sure you both feel like your life is missing something important and to have things standing in the way of it is awful. I'm certain she feels so much like her body is letting her down. I know that I do. Not only now but when I lost Eleanna.

Work stress does not help either. Is she on anything as far as depression meds... I've been talk a beta blocker for years & it's really helped me.

The best thing you can do is tell her that you love her. Keep asking her what's she's feeling.

Like I said I'll be praying for you both. I hope that your rainbow is on it's way.

Maybe time is all she needs. It seems as though you have done a great job supporting her, and I know it must be difficult on you to watch and want to help, but sometimes, the only thing that will heal a broken heart is time. I think the best thing you can do is continue supporting her, and tell her as often as you can how much she means to you.

Also, don't be afraid to tell her that you are hurting to. My husband was afraid to confide in me for a long time because of the pain I was in. But it was so helpful to my healing process when he opened up and let me know how he was hurting.

I don't know that seeing infants will ever be easy. I went out to dinner with my husband tonight and saw a woman carrying in her new born. My heart froze.

It sounds like your wife is going through a lot with the added stress of work and her poor littly kitty. I can certainly relate to that. I just lost one of my kitty's 2 weeks ago and it was devistating. I also have an all time favorite, fortunately that one is still with me and I don't know what I will do when her time comes.

Another thought comes to mind. Maybe...if its at all possible....take your wife on a romantic weekend get-a-way. It doesn't have to be expensive....if you want, plan a romantic weekend in your home. But make sure the weekend consists of her favorite things to do. It might just help get her mind off things and help her do the much needed relaxing she and you both need. Try to pamper her the way she likes and dedicate the entire weekend to her making her feel special and showing her that you are and always will be there for her.

Thank you all for the advice and support! Some good news... my wife got her first non-drug induced period over the weekend. Hopefully things will return to normal for her. She had been on anti-anxiety medication for years, which she gradually weened herself off of during the first trimester of her pregnancy, and has only taken low doses when needed since (other than the first couple weeks after the stillborn). She had a meeting with her counselor today and was rather upset when she got home, but did not want to talk about it.

For the person that said to to a romantic trip - we are going to a Bed & Breakfast in Savannah, GA in December for our 6th anniversary. We also went to one in St. Augustine, FL about 2 months after having John Evan, just to get away from life for a bit.

Yay! This is wonderful news!! I'm so glad that she started on her own! Hopefully this will help her feel better and reduce some of her stress and anxiety. The bed and breakfast sounds perfect...I hope you both have a wonderful time. You both are in my prayers and I am hoping to hear happy news from you soon.

Keep us posted!

i don't have any advice for you but i just wanna say its nice to see a fathers on this site too, sorry you had to join us but happy you found us