Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Guilt

motherofthemoon
motherofthemoon

I lost my baby girl at 40weeks. At my 40 weeks appointment she was fine. Three days later I called the OB because I hadn't felt her move all day. They had me come in and there was no heartbeat. I was taken to the hospital and induced. After giving birth they found the cord wrapped around her neck very tight. This is what killed my baby.


I feel it's all my falt she is dead. I think about it almost constantly. How I should have felt her movement's slowing down. Gone to the doctor sooner. Insisted on an induction at the 40 week appointment like I had wanted to. 


I hate that she was dying inside me and I didn't know. I hate that I didn't protect her like I should have.


Most of all I hate that she is not here. She should be here, in my arms, but instead she is dead and in the ground. 


I don't know how I am ever going to move on.

BabyV
BabyV
I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself. I know it's hard and I can imagine your pain. God Bless your little angel.
3AHalo1
3AHalo1
I hate that you are going through this. I lost my son at 31 weeks 5 days to the same thing; that damn cord. It is so easy to blame ourselves and question why why why but try not to do that. It will drive you crazy, literally. I have never felt certifiably crazy until dealing with the loss of my son.
I will give you the same thoughts that go through my mind.....it's best not to think of the what ifs because you can't change anything now. Seriously, push the what ifs out of your mind when they come barging in because they aren't going to help you at all... Your baby knows your heart from heaven and knows the love you have for her and that you would do absolutely anything if you could to save her.
</3 so sorry, momma, that you're going through this. Just know that you are not alone.
Celian
Celian
Its not your fault AT ALL. Millions of babies are born alive past the 40 weeks mark, why would you have thought it would turn out differently for your case? And, you DID go in to the Dr. when you felt concerned. Most of all, you loved your baby with all your heart, that you ARE guilty of.. I try and focus my mind on pleading guilty to the later...Love.
MelissaB140
MelissaB140
The same exact thing happened to me yesterday im so confused and angry i just don't know what to do
momatheart2715
momatheart2715
Please know it's not your fault. It's none of our faults this horrible stuff happened to us.
JayP
JayP
I know how you feel! You did the best you could. I was beating myself over my loss as well, but in the end, it's not our fault. I lost my baby boy on Sunday 3/19/17 due to a chord accident. I was two days shy of 36 weeks. I hadn't felt him move throughout the afternoon and got very concerned.. Went to the L&D unit at the hospital to be told and to see on the ultrasound that he had no hearbeat. My husband and I were devastated, still are. It was either c-section or vaginal delivery. I chose delivery after weighing the unnecessary risks of c-section for now and future. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the bravest. I was induced and my baby boy was born on 3/22/17 . He was a beautiful baby,look just like his daddy. Not a day will go by that I won't miss him. I feel as if my heart was ripped out of my chest. I've been told it gets easier with time for coping. Hang in there! And remember, it wasn't your fault. Keep your head up and keep your baby forever in your heart.