Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Falling into a deep depression....

Marthar1201
Marthar1201
I had stopped crying for about a week..... but i started crying all over again. I cry every single day. It hurts me sooooo much that my one and only son was taken from me too soon.
I was wondering if some of you..... (it might sound crazy but.)..... wish you were dead. ? I have family that loves me and cares for me. I have a very supportive husband...... but when i lay down to sleep I just wish i was dead.......every night i go to sleep.... i think about my son..... imagine his little tiny body buried and it breaks my heart. I should be the one in the grave....not him......
I would never do anything to harm myself or others...... but i think i would better if i was drad and living my life after dead with my son.
today was my nephew's 1st bday. I didnt go to his bday...... it hurts me that I would never get to celebrate my son....he will never blow off his cake candles...... i would never get to wrap a present for him...... My life feels pointless without my son..... :'(
Missing you Eli every single day.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Everyday I feel like death would be best for me too. That would be the only way to get rid of the pain. I lost my baby almost 4 mos ago, and 2 wks before my due date. I'm seeing a therapist but I don't think it helps. No one truly know how this feels unless they have lived it.
Marthar1201
Marthar1201
Yes i agree...
Its being 5 months 5 days... since Eli's being gone.... and everyday it hurts more and more..... and the holidays are not making it any better for me.... I feel soooooo jealous of eveyone else making plans wirh their loved ones.....
Marthar1201
Marthar1201
OMG holidays are here............

It sure is becoming more difficult for me.....
Thanksgiving................... what should I be thankful for..... I AM LIVING IN MISERY! I cant stand this life without my son........
Than whenever I go to the stores they are already playing Christmas carols.... NOOOOOO I SHOULD'VE BEING GETTING READY TO SPEND THE FIRST CHRISTMAS WITH MY SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Buying little shirts saying "My 1st Xmas".......
LIFE CAN BE SOOOO UNFAIR :0(
Sheamolan3
Sheamolan3
I can relate. My son was stillborn on October 19, 2014. He was due on December 16. I can't stand to see all the baby's first Christmas items. He was supposed to be here for Christmas. I have two other children that I am trying to be strong for. They are sad that they were supposed to have a little brother right before Christmas and now he is in Heaven. I want to make their Christmas extra special, but I get upset even thinking about the holidays. I miss him so much.
Marthar1201
Marthar1201
Sorry for your recent loss..... i understand ur pain... and yes stay strong for ur other kids..... I dont have any other kids.... only my little boy Eli in heaven :'(
JoAnnaRose
JoAnnaRose
I completely understand. I lost my first born, Anna Bell, when she was born (She came on her daddy's birthday). We had a home birth, labor and delivery went smoothly. No monitors, so when she did arrive, the silence was deafening. I can't be in the quiet because I start to cry all over again. If I wake up to silence, I'm depressed the whole day. It's hard and at times I have wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. But I know that would break my husband's heart. Anna is never going to be replaced and I will always miss her. But my reason for living now is to be there for my husband.
princessevelyn
princessevelyn
I was feeling that way last week. I kept telling myself that my baby was alone and needed me. I wanted to be with my baby. I wanted to hold her and kiss her again. Life was unbearable to be without her. I was looking forward to having my baby and the life that was supposed to be with her. She was taken away and I wanted to be reunited with her. Since then, I have made an appointment with a therapist. I am hoping this will help me.