It has been almost 5 years i have been dealing with infertility and now added upon dealing with the loss of stillbirth of my miracle baby boy whom i lost last year at 32 weeks. The pregnancy gave me hopes that i might conceive again naturally but it has been almost 6 months now and still no luck. Although i understand it is not that long but i am having emotional breakdowns and i show all my frustration to my husband who is very supportive. Later on i feel sorry and also ask him to forgive me but i know he is really very upset with me for not being patient.
doing the ovulation tests this month were a bad trigger and since it never came positive i kept on crying daily and it disturbed my intimate relationship.
My husband feels that i only want a baby and he has no place in my heart. Truly speaking i do love him and respect him but i do want a baby desperately but at the same time i have difficultly taking decision about trying IVF as i know i am not strong enough to go through another loss.
I feel totally messed up and not in a position to make any decision. My husband took me out for dinner so that i may feel good but instead i ended up crying which made him feel that i am not at all cooperative. at times i have told him to leave me and have another wife so that he can have kids because i cannot live a life of guilt and that he should not be childless because of me. later on i feel sorry for what i speak nonsense but i dont understand why i just lose my patience.