I have thought about death a lot since I have had children especially not wanting them to grow up without a mother but also of me not wanting to die some nights the thoughts invade my mind and I like can't breathe and I just start kinda freaking out but then I have to get my mind back under control and usually watch a movie to fall asleep - I know everyone dies at some point I just dont want to - I have also had a lot of death this last year

I had the opposite thing happen to me. I became at peace with death up until Esther died I was scared to death about death. Now I know I will be with my baby girl one day

Yes, I haemorrhaged after Kaya was born and consciously thought that the medical staff were going to let me die in the same way they had abandonned my baby. BTW, this was a realistic fear, not just paranoia.

On the day I went home from the hospital, I reached out to touch a flower in my garden and one of our most poisonous spiders (Australia has a lot - this one was a 'red-back') crawled over my hand. Despite an entire childhood spent poking around among rocks and bush, climbing trees, collecting insects etc, I had never directly contacted a red-back before and I never have since. It was as if the "Grim Reaper" had visited and taken my baby, and was still hanging in the atmosphere considering whether to take me too.

I also seemed to 'see' Death everywhere as well, owing to heightened awareness I think - in the same way there seem to be pregnant women everywhere when we are TTCing.

Have you tried any relaxation, meditation or anxiety management techniques? Hugs, Lee

I have never thought about myself dying, but I am paranoid that someone I love will die. When my husband first went back to work I thought for sure that he would be in a car accident. I think we're just a little more aware of death now. I was very niave before I lost Samuel. Now I know it really can happen to me.

I totally agree with Tamberly, I'm not in a real hurry to die, because I'm living to one day become a mother. But also, I'm proud to admit that knowing what treasure awaits me in Heaven erases all fear I ever had of dying

Oh quin this is so normal! I found after my mother died- that I was CONVINCED I would die- just die- like that. Now it is more a horrible fear of "expiration" by heartache if you know what I mean- just a slow slow unintended death. I think it is grief.
As far as dying in childbirth I hope with all my heart that your current care team will listen and not treat you weird just assure them you know you are mentally ok it is just grief but that you want to be closely, closely monitored up to and during childbirth. I am sendinbg you a giant warm hug to Texas. I am sorry to hear you feel this way.

Death has always been an issue for me, but it seems to be a bit worse over the last six months. I am fearful about the people around me dying more than I am worried about my own death. My husband is a cop, and I have a lot of difficulty sleeping when he is working. Death comes so quickly and without warning sometimes - I think that is what I am most afraid of.

after losing my son, and my puppy(july15/nov 15th) I am terrified that John is gonna die and I'll be all alone. Also, The 15th of every month makes me nervous...is that weird?

I have always been at peace with dying, but thats b/c I am a child of God & I know how joyous & beautiful Heaven is going to be, however, now I truly cant wait, Im sooooooooo looking forward to spending eternity with my beautiful baby girl worshiping & praising our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ!

If you want some peace Pastor Perry Stone has a TV program Manna-fest that you can watch on line that will answers all your questions like

What is Heaven like? Who will be there? What will it look like? What will we do?

Perry Stone interviews Bishop Curtis Kelley who shares about a near death experience and his glimpse into paradise where he was reunited with his son who was shot in a tragic car jacking.

The episode is titled Mysteries of Paradise & you can find it in Perry Stones Manna-fest archive program recorded on 07/31/2009.

Trust me its a must see, its totally biblical & you will find the truth of Heaven backed up by Gods word! It will give you the total peace that I have!

His web page is http://www.voe.org/
Program link is http://www.voe.org/index.php?option=com_wrapper&view=wrapper&Itemid=91

That is actually one of the very few things I am not scared of... Now that Owen is in Heaven waiting for me, the thought of my own passing isn't so scary... The thought of losing anyone else close to me absolutely terrifies me though....

Quin, you are not alone. I have a fear but I also have a weird sense of peace. I know that probably makes no sense at all. I am afraid of losing more people, but I also have a sense of peace on one day seeing Jayden. I do wonder a lot of the things "BethnAndy" stated regarding the video she linked on What Heaven will look like and so forth. Just want to let you know you are not alone.

Just like Tamberly I am at peace with the thought of death, weeks after I lost Colton I would beg for god to take me so I could be with my baby. Now that a little over 6 months has gone by I know that my little man is watching over me and keeping me safe. We have our own perfect little angels watching over us.

i find myself completely over protective of my nephews since losing Sophie. I always loved them and watched out for them but now i think of them and what they are doing almost constantly. i think of when they are 16 and start to drive how dangerous it could be, and they are only 3! i think of when they get a bit older and want to walk to a friends house of all the bad things that could happen. i think once you lose a child you realize even more how precious they are your worries are magnified...

I experienced what Tamberly did. I am now NOT afraid of death. I used to be terrified of it but now I know that I will see my sweet Christian again, and that gives me so much peace.

I have never really been afraid of dying. Not something I wanted to do any time soon. After losing my baby girl it made it less scary. I have my faith and I know where she is and I will be with her when it is my time. Does not make the situation any easier though.