Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Couples counseling

mommytoanangel107
mommytoanangel107
Has any one tried it? It is worth it? Does it work?

We lost mason in January, ever since my boyfriend (well now ex boyfriend) have been struggling. He stone walled, and has been making me feel miserable for the last few months. We decided a few days ago to break up and take some time for ourselves. But he keeps texting me saying things like 'I dont know if this was the right decision' and 'I think we need to be together, not apart'. When HE was the one who initially wanted the break up.

I don't know what to do. Up until we knew mason wouldn't make it, my boyfriend was great. I feel like he just doesnt know how to handle his grief. Should we give councelling a shot??? (If he'll even do it..)
SophiasMom2010
SophiasMom2010
I'm in the same boat at the moment. We lost Sophia in September 2010 and it's just now hitting my boyfriend, he's been so busy taking care of me that he never grieved, now he wants "a break" cuz hes depressed and drinking every night... I considered asking him to go to a support group for infant loss here in town, but I don't think he will go for it. If your boyfriend is saying he wants to work it out then maybe you should just ask him if he would consider a support group, I think that would be easier on him because there will be other men there, and for some reason men feel emasculated by one on one therapy from my experience. Good luck sister, you're so fresh out of your loss, this is the time when you need each other the most. HUGS
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've always been told that relationships are tested after a loss, especially like ours. Although I feel like I'm doing well after 6 months, I believe I'm still grieving. But my boyfriend, I think he was over it after the first couple of weeks. He doesn't talk about our daughter unless I bring it up, or people mention to him how I'm making them feel awkward.

I'm currently in counseling for myself. I have attempted to bring my boyfriend into 2 sessions and he has told me how pointless they were. However, for others, I have heard that counseling has helped their relationships. So it really depends on how much both parties put into it.

I wish you luck! Hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeah! I think counseling coul be very helpful.I hope he will do it. Best of luck to you!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband and I tried a local support group for infant loss but we both felt very differently about it. I felt less alone by hearing the stories of other people who had also lost a child. Most of them had gone through losing their baby much longer ago than we had, so seeing that they were able live through it and go on to have children later gave me hope. My husband, on the other hand, felt very uncomfortable sharing how he felt in front of strangers, even other men, and he said hearing their tragic stories made him feel worse. I now go to support groups alone, or with other women I've met in the groups. I did ask him to go to couple counseling because I had heard that so couples break up after the loss of a child. He agreed and I think that has been much more effective for us as a way to work through the different ways we've been handling our grief. Our counselor is a man, which I think also helps.
I hope you and your boyfriend are able to work through this. Sometimes we need extra help from a thrid party because there's no protocol or formula for how we're supposed to live through things like this. You have all of us in this group and family, but you and your partner really need each other now.
Best of luck and BIG HUGS