Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
It will be 7 months this Friday that I lost my son. I have not stopped thinking of him since. I go to bed with his picture by my side and wake up thinking of him. Sometimes I feel like this just happened. I feel like my life stopped on 12/15/10. I literally have not stopped thinking of losing my son, not one waking minute. Has anyone else experienced this? Also, I am up and down about getting pregnant again. One day I will be ecstatic that I can start trying again soon and I envision myself with a living child next summer. The next day I am so down and depressed and think not only will this happen again, but I might die too. There is so little risk of anything happening to me, but I did have a csection. I guess you can say I always look out for the worst to happen after the worst did happen when my baby passed. I appreciate any advice, thank you!
deleted_user
I constantly think about my little Paige. Almost every minute. I know how you feel. I lost Paige 5 days after the loss of your son. Dec.15th was my due date. I also had a cesarean and hoping I'm healed enough to try. I have started trying, because time isn't on my side, and really have no choice. I think the best thing to do is feel the feelings. If you need to cry, then cry. Friday night is a full moon, and I always get more emotional at that time. I lost Paige with a full moon. Maybe you could do something for you....a relaxing, nurturing, fertility massage . Or, maybe just a little something at the spa. I'm thinking this is what I'm going to do. You have been through alot, physically and emotionally, and maybe a couple of warm hands will comfort your soul, and help heal your body. I'm always checking in...so if you need to chat.....
deleted_user
I think what you describe as "constant thinking" is very normal in your circumstances. Grief takes longer for some than for others. You just have to let it take as long as it takes. Remember that every thought you have of your son is an expression of your love for him. The roller coaster of feelings - excited to be able to TTC, then depressed and afraid of the outcome - is also normal. You will know when you are ready for another pregnancy. Another baby will not change your love for your son. There is always enough love to go around. I agree with missingPaige - doing little things for yourself will certainly help you feel relaxed and nurture.
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