A few months ago, I wrote about how one of my cousins's was pregnant and announced it on Facebook, tagging me in the annoucenement when we aren't close, don't live in the same state, etc. I also talked about how she is very promiscious. She sleeps with ANYTHING. She has also had multiple abortions because she uses them like birth control. And now all of a sudden, she keeps this baby.

Well, low and behold; my OTHER cousin who is a drug addict is pregnant now. I know my family just sounds amazing haha. I promise, they aren't all like this.

But yep, another one pregnant. My whore of a cousin and my drug addict of a cousin. Sorry if that's harsh...I just have so many feelings going on right now. My husband and I lost our first son, Braedyn, at 28 weeks on 10-12-10. We have been trying again since January of '11. Nothing. Not even close. I have PCOS and have known for a long time. We were told it would be really hard to get pregnant early on in our marriage and then 4 months after that news we found out we were pregnant. And then we lost him. And now after a year and a half of trying again (we had tried for 2 1/2 years to get pregnant with Braedyn) we are still not pregnant. I'm losing my faith. My will to live. My everything. I don't know how much more I can take. Everyone around me is pregnant. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. We love children and just want to start our family. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD?! Nobody ever tells you that making a family can be so difficult. I hate this. I just want a family. I want a baby. I want to be pregnant again. And I've been doing so well lately; and now this. I'm so jealous. And they aren't even good people! That's the thing that kills me! We are good people! Why don't we deserve a baby??