I lost my daughter on 12/6/09. I can honestly say that I walked around life the whole month of December in a daze. I don't remember much of that month. Then January came, life started again, I went back to work and this is when I found it was the hardest days for me. I think I was in shock for so long and then when I jumped back into the real world, I realized wait people have moved on but I haven't, how do I? It is a rough road and it never gets easier, I just think you learn to deal with it better. I will be think of you these days and wishing you all the strenth you need to get you by. Hugs, Nicole

It will be 7 weeks for my on Friday. I too was kind of in a daze for a while. I have had many more "peaceful" days than not, but it seems to go in streaks - I'll be "ok" for a few days, then I'll go for days where all I do is think of Landon, and cry (or fight back the tears depending on where I am). I went back to work after 4 weeks - that was good for me... keeps my mind occupied more. However, this week has been pretty bad for me, and the girls I work with noticed and gave me some cookies "to bring me some cheer" today. But, I was already coming out of the "funk" on my own today anyway. I'm just saying that some days are good days, some days I'm just going through the motions, and some days just pretty much suck. BUT I'm only 7 weeks after my loss - hopefully someone will have a little more insight than me.

Hang in there - I know it will get easier to deal with... it has to...

The first week you are still a bit in shock and in a daze. The second week, the initial attention and comfort from family and friends starts to calm down and you get a glimpse of life going "back to normal" but without the baby.
The dust is starting to settle and the distractions will go away and you are left with the reality of life without your baby in your arms.
Yes, it is a very lonely and very difficult time as you try to figure out some direction through this grief. *hugs* The next couple of weeks will probably be the hardest.
I lost my baby boy, Jimmy, on Nov 15 of last year. The first week I was in shock, my husband had taken off work, we had a funeral to plan, we went shopping to get comfortable clothes for me to wear for my physical recovery, we recieved lots of phone calls and cards and flowers, etc.
The second week my husband went back to work and everyone moved on to the person with the next crisis while I was still at home, alone, feeling like the world had come crashing down around my ears.
My saving grace was reading through other women's stories on these forums, prayer, and working on Jimmy's scrapbook. I really embraced my grief and learned to cry when I needed to and yell when I needed to even if it was out of the blue.
If you can find something to create (I don't use the word "create" lightly...that is important) in your angel's memory while you are grieving, it will help you have a focal point and give you something precious to show for all your grief. For example, I worked on Jimmy's scrapbook for sometimes 8 hours at a time and I cried the WHOLE TIME. The thing is, I was going to cry anyway, and in this way it was like I was spending time with my dead son and saying goodbye. At the end of the scrapbook (two months later) I had a physical, tangible, touchable, and beautiful thing to show for all of my grief instead of just an indentation on the couch and several empty boxes of kleenex.
Please, if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to pour your heart out. It really helps and everyone here is so nice and would love to help in any way. If you need a listening ear just let me know...the only comfort I found during the first couple of weeks (besides God) was in talking about my angel. It felt so good to talk about him!
Praying for you sweetie.

I lost my Makenna Dec19/09 - we had quite a few distractions with Christmas to get through for our other children & family visiting, etc... I think it took a few weeks before the "reality" of it all sinks in.

In some ways it is still sinking in.

Try to be patient with yourself. This is a long & winding, sometimes even switchback road. It is not linear & always straight in the direction of healing. There are curves & bumps to navigate. And sometimes you'll need to even go backwards a few steps.

*hugs*
Erin

I lost my son 5 weeks ago, and yes I think I was in shock the first week too. I had no clue that he was gone we went to a normal 4 week appt. and were told that his heart had stopped beating. We had no time to even think about the situation the next morning I was at the hospital to get induced and that night he was born and gone. I wasn't even ready to say hello to him and I was already saying goodbye. It took a few days for the reality to set in, and by then Iwas alone at home while my finance was at work and my son at school.
I think it was around the end of the 3rd week that I noticed I was having some good days. I started going tanning again and talking to people on the phone. I went to the store during the day and window shopped (all the time very careful not to go near the baby section). I started feeling like a person again and not some shell just going about my days in a daze.
Give yourself time and without even realizing it you will start feeling like "yourself".

I agree, the second week was harder. I just kept crying and thinking "I just want things back to how they were 2 weeks ago". Even something like looking in the fridge and seeing leftovers from a birthday party 2 weeks before made me lose it. How could things have been perfect and then in a blink become this awful nightmare? I am almost to the 3 week mark, and I'm starting to realize that losing Natalie really DID happen and that it is permanent. I am trying to pull it together, and limit myself to one good cry a day (it is hard to hide from my 3 year old). But it is ok to still be mad or sad or upset, and I'm learning to allow myself to feel whatever it is I'm feeling and not downplay it. By me feeling how I do, it shows how important my little girl was to me. And I know that me keeping her memory alive is the most important thing!

Yes, it does seem to get harder as time passes but it's important to know that it is part of the healing process. After Evelyn passed away I was numb for months. I wondered how the entire world kept moving past me when time as I knew it was still.

Through your personal experience many emotions will arise. Some will confuse and frighten you, that's ok. You need to talk about them with people you trust.

I understand this pain. I know this reality. I am sorry your baby is not in your arms.

Love,
Tammy
evelynrosefoundation.org

Thanks everybody. Its so nice to know that there are so many caring people who understand all the confusing feelings that we go through. I hate that we all have to be in this situation but it helps to know that we are not alone. God bless all of you and your angels!
Wendy

Oh, it's so very difficult to be going through this. It's been about 10 weeks for me. Wow, still can't believe it, feels like yesterday. Be patient with yourself and be kind to yourself. It's a rollercoaster ride of emotional as we handle our grief. Don't be afraid to face it. Sometimes after the most terrible day, the next day is a little better. For me, doing little things to honor my angel, helps comfort me. Don't stop talking about your little Quinn. I will keep you in my prayers. Lots of love to you.

we lost our baby at 20 weeks almost 8 weeks ago...i think the first 3 weeks were the hardest for me...not feeling your baby move,not fitting my clothes still looking pregnante but wasnt...i just wanted peace.do something nice to honor your baby ...plant a favorite flower/tree....go for walks..it helps me.. I probley look like the crazy lady talking to herself when she walks but it makes me feel better....i pray you find peace.

The first 6 months were hard for me to really remember. May 28 will be 2 years and in alot of ways the second year has been harder. I don't know that it gets better but as time passes the pain lessens. And as you go through the ups and downs you learn what to do to take care of yourself during the downs. Grief is very exhausting. You have to remember to be kind to yourself and to take care of yourself, eat and get rest.
Hope this helps!
Sheri