I'm proud of you for going out. You took a big step today. I'm sorry people treated you differently than before. It's true, most just don't know what to say and how to react. Before this, I probably wouldn't know what to say either. I think, if anything, I've learned to be more open to other people's grief. Either way, I'm glad you took your son to school. I'm sure he was very happy, too.

I'm proud of you for going out. You took a big step today. I'm sorry people treated you differently than before. It's true, most just don't know what to say and how to react. Before this, I probably wouldn't know what to say either. I think, if anything, I've learned to be more open to other people's grief. Either way, I'm glad you took your son to school. I'm sure he was very happy, too.

I'm proud of you for going out. You took a big step today. I'm sorry people treated you differently than before. It's true, most just don't know what to say and how to react. Before this, I probably wouldn't know what to say either. I think, if anything, I've learned to be more open to other people's grief. Either way, I'm glad you took your son to school. I'm sure he was very happy, too.

UGH! Unforunately you'll have to make the first move with alot of people. Alot of people think that you want to be left alone. They don't want to bother you. They don't understand that they're just making it worse! Congrats for getting out!

When I went back to work, some of my co-workers wouldn't even look or talk to me. Then I went to the bank, and my teller who has always been very chatty with me wouldn't even talk to me once she found out my baby had died. I know how that feels. I know people don't know what to say, but I just want to tell them that I am not contagious. But then one night at work, a nurse I didn't even know that well, came up and gave me a hug, and told me how sorry she was for my loss. I of course started crying, but that didn't seem to bother her. I was nice to know that someone cared. It does get better, and I find myself having to take the first step with people. So sorry you had this expirence. Sending you a hug! Shelly

I experienced that with my own husband..he wouldn't go out with me since I was no longer pregnant and said he couldn't handle other people's reactions. When I went back to work my co workers were very cold as well, they never even sent a sympathy card or flowers and only 6 people attended the memorial service. I was always one of the first to donate to whatever the collection was for...right before I was laid off they collected for a coworker's nephew who was murdered and a former coworker who passed away from HIV complications

Sorry this happened - unfortunately as the other moms have mentioned most people don't know what to say or do and so they avoid you completely. I had this experience happen to me A LOT when I went back to work; in fact, a co-worker who was also pregnant at the time, completely stopped speaking to me, looking at me, EVERYTHING! It made me feel like she thought what happened to me was contagious and that was a horrible feeling - so I completely understand. Just hang in there hun.

I've had that a lot too. I've read in several articles that death makes people very uncomfortable especially the death of a baby. They just don't know what to say because they have probably given it some thought and realize how hard it must be for us, how hurt we are and they know nothing they say is gonna make anything better. However they don't realize that saying nothing makes it worse...it makes me feel like they don't want to acknowledge that my baby existed.
I've had to take the first step with a lot of people too. Most will be willing to talk about it if you bring it up first. Good job for getting out of the house though.

A very painful experience for you - I am so sorry. They didn't know how much effort it took for you to go out. As time goes by, and if you feel like it, you could try initiating conversations or just a brief word. Don't let them place you where you feel like a leper, because you are not. You are a loving, caring mum - you showed that by taking your son to school. And you are a loving caring mum to Jagger. I hope things get easier for you as days go by.

Unfortunately, most people do not know what to say or are afraid they will say something to upset us even more. No one knows how to deal with the loss of a child, and a lot of times, they may just be scared because it reminds them that it is a possibility that they too can lose theirs. Maybe just saying hi to them 1st may help. You never know unless you try it how each individual person will react. I found out by sharing what happened to me that several other friends or friends of friends had miscarried or had stillbirths as well, so they could understand the complexities of how we feel. Hang in there. There are many of us who understand everything that you are experiencing and going through!

People who have been my friends for 10+ years have not even called since mary was born. Many of them are pregnant and in a way I think it all scares them. I feel it's kind of like that saying out of sight out of mind, like if they don't talk to me and see me they can pretend things like that don't happen. Other people I think are so uncomfortable with emotion they would rather just avoid me all together rather than deal with them. Hang in there things will get better:-)

I experienced the same thing when I took my daughter to a Daisy Girl Scout outing several weeks after my baby boy died. One of the other moms asked how the baby was and when I told her what had happened no one talked to me for the rest of the time we were there. Since then I've had people say all sorts of things but the most common is - "I don't want to upset you so let's not talk about it". What no one seems to understand is that I haven't forgotten my baby and I would actually rather be able to talk about him than not.