:) I also think that God is so awesome that He will take our situation and turn it for our good. We'll get blessings out of it. Not because we deserve them for what we went through but because God loves us so much and He takes what Satan does and turns it to our benefit. I'm not sure what good can come out of a situation like ours....I haven't really figured it out yet. I know that I've wanted to work in Labor and Delivery as a midwife all of my life (seriously, ever since I was a small child)and after Aaron was born into Heaven I didn't think I could ever pursue that dream because it would be to hard. However Aaron has been in Heaven for almost 8 months and I have found that I want to pursue being a midwife even more. Strange huh? Do I think God did this to me to fuel my fire to pursue my dream? Absolutely not! I think it's an example of him turning the situation for my benefit.

Another interesting thing: About a month after Aaron was born we had really bad weather in our area. Tornados and such. (I'm terrified of tornados because one hit our mobile home when I was 5. We were inside it but all came out unharmed, but I still get panicky whenever they come through Georgia.)Anyway I was waken up at 3am by the weather siren and I cut on the news and sure enough tornados were passing through just to the north of us , barely skimming the top of my town but close enough for us to get crazy lightning, wind, and rain. I quickly ran through my emergency plan, what we would do if the tornado decided to switch paths and head our way, and my plan was I would wake up my husband and grab our older son off the couch and run to the inner closet under the stairs (we don't live in a trailer but we have no basement). Then my next thought was, "what would we do if Aaron was here? Which one of us would grab him? He would only be a month old and we would have to protect our new baby from this storm as well." And at that moment I felt a wave of relief. Peace and Relief because I didn't have to protect Aaron, he was safe. It caught me off guard that I had a moment of peace when my baby was dead. But that's what it was. I felt guilty at first but that quickly went away. And I guess I wanted to share that story to give another example about how God always has our best interest in mind. I love all of yall angel mamas and daddies and friends on here. You all have helped me so much and I'm so thankful for this site.

I've been thinking on how to respond to this topic for a couple of days. For those whose faith is wrecked but they want to keep on believing in God, read Harold Kushner's "When Bad Things Happen to Good People."

I ditto everything MrsMarsh said. Our babies are in heaven. The only reason to keep moving forward in this life after such tragedy is to believe that we will one day be reunited with them. The Perfect Day, I call it. What they are doing now - I cannot answer but I like your theory of positive energy and effecting other's lives in a good way. The answer to "why?" I've asked it a million times in my head and my prayers. The answer is bigger than us and beyond our understanding. To think that we even have the right to an answer seems like a grand assumption. But I don't think it's wrong, it's only natural.

In the beginning of my grief, people telling me that "things happen for a reason" or that this is part of God's "plan", made me want to go off the deep end. How dare they assume they know what God knows. It's our feeble mortal minds trying to make sense in a senseless, broken world. I DO NOT believe that God did this to my child. But since it happened, He accepted her with open arms and is there to comfort me as I walk this road without her. You know how I know God exists? Why do you think we love the way we do and why do you think it's so powerful? How do you explain the soul and the fact that every single one on this earth is unique? The love we experience in this life is a mere fraction of what is in store for us in heaven.

My child is in a place of light, love and softness. She is safe from harm by the evils of this world. She's there waiting for me with others from our family. She's fulfilled her life's purpose efficiently. Can you accept that there is randomness in this broken world and continue to have faith in God? If not, what's the point of going on?

Hi June, My son Connor died just a little over 3 weeks ago and for the first 3 weeks I was indeed extremly shaking with anger at God...Now I am just broken I have no idea where my son is. I always had a thought of where my loved ones go based on my beliefs but now I just feel like he and I are lost. I think it is great that some can feel strong in their beliefs and a good place. Thoughts are with you and I am sharing my experience to help you know you are not alone in your feelings

I was raised Catholic, but over the years I have had my own beliefs. I do believe there is a God. And the reason I know is because I got pregnant. My daughter was the most perfect gift and all I ever dreamed of. Yes, I was mad at God for taking her, because I prayed each night for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. And when I lost Mary Grace on Feb. 24, 20011, I felt let down. My heart and soul were crushed.

It's been almost 8 months now since she has been gone. And my faith is still with me. I know why I lost her...but the "why me" questions are always there. I pray each night to my baby, letting her know how much I love and miss her. Then I pray to God, thanking Him for another day and for the wonderful gift of my daughter. I hope to someday have a rainbow, because I know I am ment to be a mom. I know God also lead me to this site and all you wonderful mom's. I know my baby is in Heaven, watching down on me and is being taken care of by my family that are already there. I know she is in good hands, and my heart will be whole again when I am reunited with her in Heaven.

I lost my son, John Collin, to SIDS 4 months ago. He was 5 weeks and 4 days old when he passed. I am apart of the SIDS support group but was very interested in reading the posts from yall that your babies were born sleeping. Im so very sorry that we all have had to go through something so terrible. I am very suprised by the amount of Christians that have responeded. Yalls faith is amazing! I am a christain, have been since I was a little kid. I have not always served God whole heartedly, but through Collin's death my husband and I's relationship with God has grown so much. The whole way to the hospital in the ambulance, watching my son trying to be ressusitated. I was creaming at God to GIVE HIM BACK TO ME. I knew Collin was gone. I knew when I was pregnant something was wrong. My sis in law and I were pregnant and due a day apart, her July 23 and me July 24. Collin came an unexpected 5 weeks early. The whole time I was pregnant I would get this overwhelming feeling that he wasnt going to be with me for very long. I knew one of us would have to watch the other raise their baby, I knew it would be me with out a child to raise, not my sis in law. Maybe God had prepared me in some way, who knows. Sometimes I feel like because I had those feelings I should have done more to keep it from happening. After Collin died and I was at the hospital all alone, my pastor and my sis-in laws uncle, Don was the first person I saw after arriving to the hospital. I bodly asked him, "How could God purpose something like this?" He simply said, "Amy, God did not take Collin from you. He said people will tell you "this was Gods will he has a plan" At that moment every bit of anger left me, like a flip and switched. I dont understand WHY Collin could not have stayed, but Im getting to a place to where I dont have to understand, just accept. God did not take my son. The enemy has tried to keep from serving God since I was 4 yr. old and was melosted for the first time. I have lived through alot of hard stuff in my 21 yrs. I know that the enemy is the author of death, But Thank God my savior was there to lead Collin home. Collin is not dead, everything that made him my son is even more alive no than he was when he was here. Anyways, I have been reading battle field of the mind by Joyce Myere (I reccomend this book) In one part of the book she sates sometimes we are left with huge questions marks in our lives of unanwsered prayers and unanwsered questions, these question marks strech and mold our faith in God and Jesus. Kind of clicked for me. Something I asked myself was would I really want to know why Collin had to go, would there ever be an explation good enough to sustain me in my loss, i dont think there would be. God has shown Himself stong for me in these last 4 months. If you are willing to let God in and let the anger go, God is waiting and ready to help you pick up all the broken pieces. I know I do not understand the loss that yall have experienced, but we have all lost babies, and all feel like they should be here with us. I really love you guys and I am praying for you all!

AmyChumbler, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story and faith with us. Thank you to everyone on this board. I still believe in God but I'm angry and haven't been back to church. I don't believe it was in God's plan to take any of our children. But I prayed every day for God to protect my daughter. I believe God allowed this to happen and I don't know why. But why does God allow any kind of suffering to happen to people? I realized God does not promise us a happy life free of suffering. The purpose of life isn't to be happy; it's to serve God by loving others through our actions. God promises to give us wisdom, strength, and other gifts but not a life free is suffering. At least I don't think so. I'm not a theologian so others on this board may know more about religion than I do. But I think I had it wrong before. I thought I would get a happy life. That if I did the right things and praye to God, God would spare me from tragedy. That's not how it works. I learned that. I know that now.

I'm not religious, but I really wish I could believe that there was a heaven. Then I could tell myself that I will see Emma again one day. I could tell myself that one day we will all be together and finally be a family like we were supposed to be. I wish I could know that when I die I will finally hold her and see her looking back at me, and hold her in my arms. But, like mandican said, it's not a choice. I don't believe, and can't make myself believe just to feel better. I would if I could...