My religion is completely shaky... ok I don't go to church. I don't pray as often... I only pray when there is a rainbow involved these days.

Now that my marriage is over I definitely don't trust in God.

I believe my Angel is in Heaven watching over us. I was a little skeptical until my mother dreamed about her.

Hugs!!!
Nneka

Wow! This is a deep question. I had a healthy baby boy in March 08. A loss @ 20 weeks November 2009 and a loss @ 32 weeks March 2011. I have had all the tests, both babies and my hubbys blood work were perfect. There are no answers. Through all of this torture, fear, anger, jealousy, saddness He has not changed. I believe in the God of the Bible. I trust Jesus Christ as my Savior. He didn't change, He is still a loving God and in control. I will never understand why He allowed this to happen, NEVER. I am still cut to the core, terrifingly scared, mad as all get out, but He is still God. I will never turn my back on Him because I am His child and His Word is true. I wish you peace. My babies are in heaven and one day i will see them again.

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. Losing a baby takes its toll on everything. I know 1100% that I wouldn't be where I am today without my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I have no doubt what so ever that my baby along with alll other babies and children that leave this earth are in heaven with him. The bible says 'Absent from the body means present with the Lord' and that brings me much comfort. I am so thankful that this seperation is only temporary and that when I die, I get to go to heaven and be with my sweet girl again. I hope and pray that you can find the peace and comfort that only he brings.

This is something that I am REALLY struggling with. I am a Christian, but I have SO MUCH anger in me at Him for taking my Mason from me. I prayed and prayed that I would one day get a son, He gave Mason to us, and ripped him from us before we could even meet him. I know my Mason is with Jesus. I used to be a firm believer that God has a purpose for everything, but WHAT purpose is there is all this suffering and taking these babies from us?! The day can not come fast enough when I will be reunited with Mason in Heaven one day. I have so many questions about his topic.. will we ever have answers? Eeek...sorry to get so deep, just a topic I have been waiting for someone else to talk about!

I completely believe that Eleanna is safe in heaven with our family who has gone before.

As far as why...well, from what I can tell so far it is so that I can be there for others who have lost babies too. I have been told in the last few weeks that I have given others lots of hope. There have also been so many who have given me the drive to go on as well. I have also seen families who have had this like of sorrow many years ago living in happiness after their losses and know that I will be like them as well.

That does not mean that this is what I wanted for my life, or what I feel should happen to anyone. But, life is so much bigger than you, me or our babies. There are things that happened years ago that are just now showing their purpose.

What I know that we can control is how we deal with our situation and what kind a legacy we leave behind not only for ourselves, but now our babies as well. I think that is the greatest gift we can give both living children and those in heaven.

I believe my son is in Heaven and while I am confused as to why God Chose to not allow him to stay on this earth I am not Angry with him. I am a Christian but I am Non-denominational. I believe that I will see my son again and I find peace in that.

I'm not sure how I would identify when it comes to religion...but I do believe in God....God being a higher intelligence of some sort. Hell yes I was mad at God and wanted to blame him. My husbands father gave my husband words that I will never forget. He said that if anyone ever tells you that God took your child because he loved or wanted her more than you....they are lying. God didn't want or love your child more. He takes care of your child because your child could not stay on earth, he takes care of your child because you can not. I don't know if that helps....but it made me a little less upset to look at it that way.

Peace be with you!

I went through alot of anger after we lost our son aswell. I still have days where I refuse to read my Bible, pray or go to church(avoiding babptims). Told a friend the other day with tears in my eyes, that even after 9 months, there are some days that I truely hate God. But then I find peace in knowing that Luhan was "heavenborn straight into the arms of Jesus"and that Jesus has a rocking chair, a really big and comfy one, where he rocks every little angel to sleep. At our son's funeral, we played a song by a local gospel artist "I lay you now at the feet of Jesus" Faith is the only thing besides friends and family that pulled me through so far and kept me sain.

I had to respond because I am with you. I don't really know what I believe. I do believe there is something, in the form of a higher power of level of consciousness. I do sometimes pray to God that if he IS there to please HELP me believe. If He is what they say, then He made me this way and I don't just take the word of anyone...especially with so many of these people turning out to be "crooked" in the end.

I think having faith would be awesome...I just don't. It's not a choice, it's just the way I feel. I have lost four babies and have no answers...three of which were within a week of my daughter's birthday . It is one thing for me to suffer, but for her....THAT is what makes me angrier than anything. I had a SCH last year during her birthday party and lost her sister, Lily. This year all she asked for was a 4D ultrasound to see the baby and find out the gender as a family ON her birthday. It was a boy. He died on the 4th of July, one week before her birthday.

I do admire those who believe and stay strong in their faith..whether they are right or not. I'm sure it is a comforting feeling to believe that there is a reason for this, rather than to believe it just happens randomly, and to believe that our babies are in a better place. I do believe they are somewhere, I'm just not sure where that is and I am irate that it is not here with me.

Hugs and healing to you all.

It amazes me the strength in religion many people on here still have. I am Catholic... a religion that has seen much controversy over the years. I was raised going to church on Sunday, did the whole first communion, confirmation thing, was married in a church and had my first daughter baptized... I belive this was a great part of my childhood and created the morals I still believe in today. As I became an adult the going to church every Sunday thing kind of stopped, but I still prayed to God all of the time, especially when I was pregnant with my first daughter and after she was born. After my second daughter was born still, I now question everything. Is religion just something that provides people comfort in a world where we have no control? They say it was God intervening to help my daughter because she was not healthy... but was it just medical intervention because she was unhealthy? I hope for my daughter's sake there is a beautiful placed called heaven, but I don't think God took her from me... why would he do that? I don't know where I stand on the religion aspect... I am sure it is comforting for those of you who do so strongly believe, I wish I could.

My James Thomas is in Heaven. I know that without a doubt. My son was so perfect that God decided he didn't need to be here on Earth and have to deal with the evils here. I'm lucky I guess because never once have I thought to question why? I know because there was no medical evidence to prove other wise. God saw that our angels were jut to perfect to be on Earth. This gives me comfort.

I think it's totally normal to be angry at God and doubt your beliefs after something terrible happens like this. I do believe all of our babies are safe in Heaven. Personally I'm not mad at God but I'm super pissed at Satan. I think Satan tries to mercilessy terrorize us any chance he gets. John 10:10 tells us "the thief (satan) comes to steal, kill, and destroy but I (Jesus) have come to give life and give it more abundantly." Our babies have life more abundantly in Heaven. Satan tries to steal our peace, our joy, our health, and in our case our babies. The key word is TRIES. Satan didn't win in our situation because our sweet babies are safe in Heaven, not needing anything and waiting for us. (Now I'm not trying to do a Bible lesson and I'm not trying to offend anybody but I do believe you have to accept Jesus to get into Heaven, there is no discrimination against who can accept him, and once you do nothing (no sin) can separate you from him.)

That being said, even though I don't think God took the babies I don't understand why God allowed it to happen. There's another verse that says "in this world you'll have trouble but take heart! I (Jesus) have overcome the world (John 16:33)." I think this tells us that we are going to have trouble here on this earth but it's temporary and there are greater things (through Jesus) waiting. It gives me hope. I try not to focus on the loss but focus on the fact that we'll be together again and once we are this life on earth will be like a drop in the bucket compared to eternity. Don't get me wrong...I still have horrible days. I still cry...it still feels like my heart is ripped out of my chest sometimes, I'm not belittling anybodys grief.

I just think that this was the terrible work of Satan in an attempt to get us to turn our back on God. Why me? Why us? I don't know. I don't think God took them to punish us or to teach us a lesson. I think they were a blessing from Him, why would He take them away? I don't think God wants us to hurt and be filled with sorrow. Death is not of God, Life is. Our babies are safe and alive in Heaven. :) Love and hugs. Jessie

I am not super religious but I do go to church time every now and then. I always believed in God and that as long as we are good God willtake care of us. With this belief I have struggled with my faith after losing Lyah. I keep asking God what I did to be punished in such a way. I keep searching for a reason and i keep getting left without answers.
My pregnancy became difficult at 18 weeks andI was told that she probably would not make it. I had faith. I just knew that God would fix her, would heal my heart. At 25 and 3 days I had a feelign that night some thing was wrong.. That night I went into the room that I had turned into a nursery and looked through all of the babythings I accumulated and when I was done I got down on my knees and prayed that He would save her. That He would spare her. I remember repeating " God please let her live but if she is going to die just let her go." that next day I lost her. Over the last four months I kept asking God why he took her and why he had punished us. what did I do?.... No answer

Last night I told my husband this story because I never told him any of this and his reply was " He answered you."

Did he spare us? Im not sure but I do know that there is a God and I am very angry at him.

There was a time when I considered myself a Christian, though not closed off to other religions. But almost everything I thought I knew seems to have died with my baby girl in July 2011(I was 36 weeks). It was an umbilical cord accident (the word accident makes me angry 2). The only things I am sure of these days are my husband who continues to be my greatest support and my beautiful, healthy 5 year old girl.
I am definitely angry at God! Maybe that will ease with the pain, maybe I will find my faith again...I hope so. I hope you will too

Isaiandaaronsmomma, thank you for that perspective. I have never seen it in the light that satan is behind all this mess, sorrow and devastation. You're right God only want the best for his children. And eventhough he allowed our babies to die, doesn't mean that he doesn't love us. Just maybe he spared us greater tragedy.