Step Families Support Group

Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.

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tired of being the evil step mom

deepdarkfancy
deepdarkfancy
i have a step son that i swear he hates me. i have tried to bond with him i have done everything i could to even get him to remotly like me. but what i get is phone calls from his mom saying that he doesnt want to come over because i demand he calls him mom which i dont and that i am mean to him because i ask him to clean his room, he doesnt have any responsibility and it drives me nuts my husband has tried to talk to him but he wont say anything we have tired time just me and him but he ignores me and acts like i am not here (he is almost 10) he tells my husband that he hates me and he is mean to my daughter hitting her and threatening her all the time. i am so fed up my husband can deal with him now. sorry just needed to get it out.
rachhomer
rachhomer
how long have you been with your husband? has your stepson always been like this?
deepdarkfancy
deepdarkfancy
to a point he has always been this way but it has gotten so much worse over the last few years. we have been together for about 4 years now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Does this child live with you or exwife? And how much is BM contributing to this situation? Is he taking his hatred cues from her? Hubby is really going to have to take charge of this situation. This kid is taking his aggression out on your daughter and you and that's going to have to change.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had to threaten my husband with leaving the house with my daughter every time SS came if things didn't change when it came to SS being disrespectful to us, and boy did it help...What is your husband saying to all of this?
deepdarkfancy
deepdarkfancy
me and my husband have been at a loss we have tried talking to him me having one on one time (both of us) doing things he likes and nothing changes his behavour it wouldnt surprise us if his bio mom was saying things it wouldnt be the first time but no matter what is said it changes nothing, he lies CONSTANTLY i dont belive anything he tells us i just go along now cause its not worth the argument. i really cant handle him right now. i have just gone back to school i have my own x to deal with i have depression and anxiety and i have 2 kids that are here full time that need me... i just cant take it anymore... and i feel awful that i dread when he is coming over.
deleted_user
deleted_user
ohhh I know that awful dread x3. Satan and her spawn have made their mark on my life! I learned LONG ago everything out of Satans mouth as well as the spawn was going to be a LIE. Husband of course on the other hand...holds out hope.
BLAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

What can you do? I don't know, nothing really worked for me. I finally chose to ignore. Ignore all that happeneing around me. BUT not before always saying' I know that is a lie and I refuse to be a part of it'
Did nothing to help me or the situation- but it gave me a little power back.
Good Luck sister! I hope this passes quickly. (the Spawn in my life still lie about everything. now 18,19 and 21)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow I am in the same situation except I have only been in my SS life going on a year on Thanksgiving. I have a child from a previous relationship that leaves with me and me and my current fianc have a baby on the way. My fianc says my SS doesn't listen to me because I don't baby him but my SS is 5, for goodness sake my son is 3 and I do not baby him. He gets on my son when he isn't doing something right and my son listens, he'll he listens to him more than me sometimes. And when my son sees how his son acts he tries to do the same thing and then he gets mad at my son and pretends he doesn't know why he acts like that. My fianc and I have had numerous talk about this and sometimes it gets through and sometimes it doesn't. For instance this morning I told my step son he need to talks a bath because he didn't take one last night so I asked him if he wanted a shower or a bath he ignored me so I told him after the show went off that he watching he needed to decided when it came to that time he ignored and his dad was listening to the whole thing so I asked my SS again do u want a bath or shower he ignored me so I started running the shower water and told him to go get ready he still wasn't listening so his dad calls him and talks to him and then he ask him do you want to take a shower or bath so he dad starts running him bath water. Every time we get him it's a battle my SS only listens to me when he wants something or if I am doing something for him. I have gotten to the point where I am going to go see a therapist for it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Kids can pick up really fast how to play the adults around them, and the more they get away with it, the bolder they get. I wish the fathers would stop sticking their heads in the sand and start paying attention to what their children are REALLY like.
deleted_user
deleted_user
NOTevil, you got that right! If the fathers would just acknowledge how their kids are being and quit falling for the emotional blackmail...it will make things easier....not 100%, but at least a bit better.

Kids needs discipline all around...that is a parent's job.....to make sure their kids are disciplined and try to raise them to be great people....but, if they allow the misbehavior, lying, manipulation, the kids will just get worse and will get better with the manipulation as time goes on.