When my H had that kind of arrangement with his ex, we bought/kept clothes for my SS at our home. When SS was returned his bm's house, the clothing she bought for SS went with him. I would wash the outfit my SS arrived in and he would wear it back to his mom's when we dropped him off. We never gave her our clothing for SS and vice versa.

Now that we live 1,200 miles away from my SS (we are military)we only have my SS in our home for 7 weeks in the summer, plus 1 week every spring break and every other Christmas for a week. SS brings clothing from his mom's place for all of the above mentioned visits. She gets enough support money to clothe him otherwise. The only time we purchase clothing these days, are as gifts or to supplement the lack of outfits that she provides us with in the summer. With him still growing, it doesn't make sense to buy and keep clothing for him at our home, so everything gets returned with SS.

I don't think it's a big deal to provide clothing for your SD at your home. We had everything, shirts, pants, shorts, shoes, socks, undies, etc. It's just one less heartache if you don't have to fight over clothing issues. However, if the BM is easy to get along with, discuss the option of her providing the clothing for your SD for these visits. If not, then continue buying clothes to be kept at your house.

My ex wife provided all clothing for the kids except for specialty items such as mittens for playing in the snow. (We travel a hundred miles or so to do that in the winter). I sent them home with them in case they were needed at her end.

Here's what I would do. As soon as you get them to your place have them change clothes and change them back to the exact same clothing when they return.

She's being cheap.

No you should not have to buy clothes everytime
I would find out what the money is really going for
I only get 350 a month and my X buys NOTHING cause I use the $$ for what she needs when she needs it..
Now my husbands kids live with us 2 and we have to buy their clothes to send over there and then that B keeps whatever she wants too and then sends the rest home so now we don not allow them to take clothes over there inless we get them back which my husband has been making sure they come back home with the kids cause we have them all week and I should not have to wash the same clothes over and over for them to have something at our house when she only has them for a day or two. So NO I would not buy nothing else and do as OC said what u already have bought don not send over there... GOOD LUCK

After a few times of us picking him up and her not having adequate clothing and shows we went out and got everything we needed. Shes done the same thing with diapers and wipes even if we were just having him for the day. We do as OC said we change him when we get him, wash the clothes he came in; while hes in ours; and he goes back in them. She has got few things of ours over the year or so we've done this, a pair of pants when she had shorts on him during the winter, when he was just in a diaper and shirt and a couple pair of socks....

You dont have to do it but its less to worry about. The way I look at it though is its his kid so he shouldnt argue about having to get clothes to provide her with at his house.

in my state if the child support in decreased from the usual percentage r/t split placement in my state that is greater than 25% of the overnights a year... it is the responsibility of both parents to supply clothes in their own home...

I guess I wouldn't make a big deal of it either way unless if was abused... I used to send clothes to my ex...they never came back and I would have to go over there a pick up everything from his floor covered in dog crap .... I stopped sending stuff

MY SD mother is required to provide the clothes when SD goes to see her for 1 month durring the summer.(which is the ONLY thing she does for her) her other 2 visits durring the year are here in our home so we dont have to worry about clothes that we buy getting ruined or going missing or going to any of her other 5 children.

I imagine its different in each state but I'll share what it is where I live - in Virginia...

Unless you have shared custody - which is considered 90 days or more here, then the custodial parent is required to send the clothes. If you have shared, both parents must pay for the clothes and a different child support formula is used, usually to reduce payors cost so they can afford this.

It sounds like you are kind of in between. Not sure how old your SD is but I'ms ure when she gets to a certain age she may tell mom I want to take xyz and pack her own bags.

This being said, even though we only have our SD's 4 days a month, we have to buy some basics as mom never sends the appropriate things nor extras if there are any accidents. We have jackets, undies, socks, even extra tees and jeans. Its really a croc but what can ya do...

we had a similar problem.
only at the time I and my husband wern't the custodial parents. we would have to buy clothing b/c my SD was never sent with any and then the clothes we did buy would disapear into what we all called "the Black Hole". After we spent $500 dollars one year in clothing that never stayed at our house we started asking what was happening to them.
My SD kept saying that she didn't know. well, come to find out BM wasn't keeping up with laundry and a lot of it was just being shoved into Closets and under beds,unwashed.
I mean everything disapeared...so we had to work out a deal with BM about how H's mom would go to the house (they live in the same town) and gather up any clothing she could find, wash it and give it to us so that SD had something to wear while at our house.
Now, i have to say that is probably not the answer for you but that solved the problem for us, but, maybe something like that could be worked out where one calles the other and says..."hey we need pants,shirts...etc."
can you send some things next time she comes over. don't even mention about washing (that caused a huge fight with H and BM, just do it yourself. and if all else fails...just continue to buy the clothing you need at your house and send her back to BM's house with the outfit she wore when she came over(washed, of course).
good luck!

In our case the custodial parent Bio-Mom is supposed to supply the child with enough clothing to get through the visit but that has never happened. We see him on alternate weekends and I keep several days worth of clothing here for him. I almost always send him home in the exact same clothing he came here with, unless he shows up with ripped or otherwise unusable underwear at which point I give him acceptable underwear to wear home. I hate giving BM our new clothing but I don't want this kid to ever think that both sets of parents were neglectful of his basic hygeine. There was one time when Bio Mom refused to buy him new shoes and his old ones smelled like death and his feet were peeling and rotten and we had NO money so we sent him home with our medicated foot powder, oatmeal foot soak, a bucket to soak his feet in and written instructions on what to do and how often to do it and NO SHOES. We then, of course documented it. In the fear that she would use it against us, I kept the shoes in a sealed bag to show to the proper authorities if we had to, along with photos of his rotten feet.
As for his clothing that he keeps here, I find lots of perfectly good clothing for him (and all my children), at the Goodwill and he has never known the difference.

It shouldn't be if you're paying child support!! I never used to send my ss down to his mothers with clothescoz she would leave them there she doesn't pay child support so that's why i didn't if she was paying then I wouldn't of sent him with clothes,because technically isn't that what childsupport is supposed to be paying for... things for the child?

As the custodial parent, I send everything the kids need for their time there. It comes back always dirty and sometimes things are lost. This mainly includes expensive sports equipment so I finally started asking him to replace anything expensive that was lost. I can't afford to keep buying it.
He has never bought a stitch of clothing, nor done any laundry for them, even though my understanding is that he should provide something at least, given that his visitation is a certain percentage of their time and the support he pays is reduced for that percentage.
However, I pick my battles and just provide it all. you may just want to buy a few things, you can shop at a thrift store and keep the expenses down. Keep them at home and send them back in what they wore to your place. It's not worth fighting about.

You should have some things on hand when the kid is with you but you don't have to have a full wardrobe.

My ex insists that my kids wear totally different clothes when they are with him from winter jackets, shoes, clothes, etc. This irritates me because it totally separates the kids between homes.

I expect to only have decent clothes come back on my kids comperable to what I send them in. My ex will send them home in the same dirty clothes from the day before even if he is bringing them to school because he does NOT want the clothes from his home coming to my home. Silly!!!!!

My boyfriends ex wife doesn't send clothes for the visits and he always changes them back into what they came in before they go back to her. It is the same with my son. It just seems easier to have clothes where the child will be rather than bring them back and forth. The child support pays for other things, living expenses such as food, and shelter.

NO, she is pulling a fast one on you guys. What you have to do is once you buy her new clothes- then YOU (because most likely your DH will forget or just not do it) need to wash the outfit she came in and put that on her for school on Monday. Keep all the clothes you bought at your house. Don't send them home with her. Its a classic trick that BMs play to get you guys to buy her new clothes all the time and she doesn't have to use the CS check for it. But- that's partly what the CS check is for: clothing, food, shelter... Just have to think two steps ahead and stop sending the clothes home. Or atleast keep 3 of the 4 outfits you bought at your house and send one home...

While the custodial parent should send clothes, forcing them to is one thing. My DH has his kids 8 weeks out of the year (kids live in different state) and BM gets a decent amount of CS she still doesn't send clothes out. Clothes we've purchased we have sent back because they won't fit the kids when they return only to have to start the process again.

I would suggest purchasing clothes for the kids that stay at your house. Don't buy clothes to send them back and repeat each week. The clothes you get them in on Friday should be washed and recycled for Monday. That may be rough based on the age of the girls (same clothes 2 days in a row at school) so in that event, I would keep the clothes sent on Friday and a new outfit on Monday for school. The next time they come, send them to school in the clothes that you picked them up hte last time.

The only other thing you can do is get an attorney/judge involved to force her to send appropriate clothing.