Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
Well the grown step kids wanted a prenup....done(expensive too). We all work together the father, his two grown sons and me and I have dealt with the silent treatments and ugly things on facebook. I have tried so hard to keep going. I sent my fiance over to their house (I'm not really invited and I'm okay with that) and sure enough more drama. They wanted to know if my ex took custody of my 9 and 16 yr old...would my fiance get stuck paying child support since I work for him for free. Wow. Really? In addition to the fact they wanted the house and business in his name only in the prenup. After thinking about this.....if something happened to him or our relationship I would then be homeless...and jobless...???
This has hurt me so badly, I give up. We don't have their blessing and whether its the bm or what the wedding has been planned for a year. And now a month out and things are so out of control!
I told my fiance just to not worry about it anymore. No marriage. I told him to tell his boys to just relax and just be happy...and forget it. I called it off. And the worst part is that my fiance or I guess I should say boyfriend now? Anyhow he seems relieved. Like the pressure from the kids was worse than marrying me.
All these things are so sad to me. I work 10-12 hours a day for him for free. I take care of the home and made him the center of my life. I wanted to join our lives. Share responsibility whatever that may be. I didn't want to stop and seperate everything before hand. I just wanted to share his life.
I really wanted a family. I wanted to marry a man that I could grow old with. So where does that leave me now? I feel like I have given so much to be with him. Time to move on? I don't know. I'm so angry though. I want to yell at them YOU WIN!!!!!
This has hurt me so badly, I give up. We don't have their blessing and whether its the bm or what the wedding has been planned for a year. And now a month out and things are so out of control!
I told my fiance just to not worry about it anymore. No marriage. I told him to tell his boys to just relax and just be happy...and forget it. I called it off. And the worst part is that my fiance or I guess I should say boyfriend now? Anyhow he seems relieved. Like the pressure from the kids was worse than marrying me.
All these things are so sad to me. I work 10-12 hours a day for him for free. I take care of the home and made him the center of my life. I wanted to join our lives. Share responsibility whatever that may be. I didn't want to stop and seperate everything before hand. I just wanted to share his life.
I really wanted a family. I wanted to marry a man that I could grow old with. So where does that leave me now? I feel like I have given so much to be with him. Time to move on? I don't know. I'm so angry though. I want to yell at them YOU WIN!!!!!
Well, my husband and I have already talked about seeing about any sort of legal agreement (like a prenup, but after the marriage.) We trust each other, but I fear that if the marriage should end, then there would be bitter feelings, and spite. So, why not have everything planned out while the feelings are cordial? Some peopl don't believe in them, but I have seen too many people get ruined because one spouse or the other basically takes everything, the house, cars, drains the bank account, etc. I told my husband that he and I should have personal bank accounts as well as a joint account. That way, we can have fun money, or save up our own personal monies for a rainy day, or for something we really want. I even took up a second job for a while solely for the purpose of padding my personal account.
I would suggest telling your husband that as much as you enjoy working at his company, that you would really like to branch out on your own, and finding something that gives you a fulltime paycheck. You'd probably work less hours, and still have time for your home. Try this, and see how it affect your relationship. It may give you and your family time to cool down.
Your husband though, shouldn't seem "relieved" that you wouldn't be marrying him. He should be heartbroken that the love of his life doesn't want to commit to matrimony with him. That is heartbreaking for you. He seems to be crumbling under the adament demands of his children. I understand he doesn't want to lose relations with his children, but his children are being very stubborn and stingy with their father. They need to understand that his father was a man before he was a father, and that he too has physical and emotional needs that his sons, or their mother, cannot provide. He deserves to be happy, and what he wishes to do with his estate is between him and his spouse. I am sorry that he cannot do this, and perhaps checking into a marriage, or premarriage councilor wouldn't hurt. That way you two can find a constructive solution, and really figure out if this is the right relationship for you two.
Someone please explain to me how the his ex gets remarried and the kids love him and her. And for some reason I can not be accepted.
And yes I think I will tell him we can get married but only with the prenup and only with me getting a different job. So he cannot have his cake and eat it too.... I'm not going to work for him and give him anymore YEARS of free labor while they worried about HIS financial future. Jeez I get so angry when I stop to think of the hours, time, and effort I have put in to this business and more or less told by the KIDS that I don't have any right to any of the business profit??!!!????
I really wish things had worked out differently. I really wish I didn't have to go back to work. But honestly I can't keep going like this.
Thanks again guys, the support helps so much!