Step Families Support Group
Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. This community is focused on many of the relationships and issues that may arise within stepfamilies where you may find answers from some members and you may help other members with their questions.
My SD does not take her school work seriously at all. This is her senior year and she has to many credits to make up that she will not graduate with her class at the end of the year. I have been telling my husband for the past two years to buckle down on her and stop letting her walk all over him because he feels guilty for making her mad. NOW.....Her senior year is hectic and crazy with a work load big enough for two high school students to pull their hair out. She is stressed and discouraged to say the least.
This is exactly what I knew was going to happen. BUT yet he still is letting her act as though she has not a care in the world. Spending time with friends to all times of the night, coming home and sleeping for hours after her school day and up doing homework until midnight. Running a muck all weekend and then waiting till late Sunday night to do her homework.
He promised me it wasn't going to be like this. He promised he was going to be serious and buckle down on her. I am not longer convinced she is ever going to move forward with her life. That she will be stuck here with us and we will be providing for her as an adult.
This is exactly what I knew was going to happen. BUT yet he still is letting her act as though she has not a care in the world. Spending time with friends to all times of the night, coming home and sleeping for hours after her school day and up doing homework until midnight. Running a muck all weekend and then waiting till late Sunday night to do her homework.
He promised me it wasn't going to be like this. He promised he was going to be serious and buckle down on her. I am not longer convinced she is ever going to move forward with her life. That she will be stuck here with us and we will be providing for her as an adult.
I suspect that your frustration is more with him and that he'll want to continue to support her....more than it's with her....
In any case, you can't make decisions for either of them....only for yourself. What you make you feel better through all of this? What can you do for yourself?
Yes all my frustrations are with him. Because honestly my SD is only going to do what people expect from her until she reaches the age or want to do better for herself.
I want to help in his efforts to get his daughter prepared for the world after high school.
I just don't know how to deal with all the frustration that comes with that. My children were raised with respect and goal, efforts that made those goals attainable. Now both my grown children are successful and completely independent.
I wish I could just look the other way, this is what she would want anyway.
I am afraid she may believe that he will always support her well into adulthood.
And don't get me wrong, I am not against him supporting her financially if he so chooses to do or when she truly needs the support. But to continue to allow her to be lazy and take full advantage of everyone she comes into contact with. That's just enabling her to be self sufficient and successful for herself.
I really just cant imagine my children not being self sufficient and independent. Specially being a female, I would want to...... as I was raised to be independent and strong.
Why wouldn't any other parent want this for their own children?
I am in a similar, but different, situation with my stepson. {{{hugs}}} Blended families are very difficult to maneuver. :(
She is involved when she wants to be and only as a friend rather than mother.....
You can't solve this. She's not going to take direction from you, especially at this age. Best you can do is put limits with your husband on how much you personally will do.