My relationship with my stepchildren is actually great. I love both of them and feel they respect and love me also.

The oldest is 21 now and in the Marines...his mom really was never involved. I've met her and my husband seems to have an o.k. relationship with her. As unusual as it was, back when divorced his first wife, he was awarded custody because she was deep into drugs. He raised his son by himself and she is still paying off back child support (when she can).

The youngest is almost 9 and when I first married my husband, his ex stop letting him see his daugher. We didn't see her for over a year...not even a phone call, but the child support payments keep getting paid. Anyway, while his ex was MIA, she got married and actually made his daughter believe this guy was her real dad...well, this marriage (like all the others) didn't last and when it ended, her mom wanted to move to So CA and start a career in the entertainment industry (XXX). I figured this was the best time to gain custodial rights and we convinced her that it would be better to leave her in a home that was stable and safe so she could pursue her dream. Well that was almost 5 years ago and a lot has taken place since them...

My biggest frustration currently as a stepmom is the fact that she refuses to help support her daughter at all. She will buy her clothes but she keeps them at her house. She doesn't help pay for any medical bills, rec activities (sports, dance, etc). Because my husband is disabled (happened less than after a yr of marriage) and can't work, I have the burden of handling everything and paying for everything. The worst part of it all is that as much as I tried to not love her, I do. I tried to protect myself but I couldn't. All I could see was this little girl who needed a woman (mother figure) to care about her and love her unconditionally. So now, I've really screwed myself because I get emotionally involved with the issues that aren't mine but I'm certainly affected by them.

And just to add another piece to this....her mother lost her youngest son to cancer. Although I really don't respect nor like the woman, I do feel for her loss and tried to be there for her. What happened as a result of this is that a series of articles were done about her in our city newspaper....the photographer actually won a pulitzer for it. So now....she uses this sad story to get everyone to give her free stuff. She started a non-profit foundation specifically for her sons memory - so she says that prevents her from working...yet I wonder how she pays to live in the manner she does. Without going into great detail (because it would be easy) let's just say she is a manipulating, self-absorbed creature that justifies everything she does by the death of her child. She is a real piece of work...I can't even begin to list the number of relationships she has had in the time I've known her. By the time the poor guy figures it out, she has already emptied his bank account. Her last marriage lasted less than a year and she totally destroyed this guy, ruined his name in his professional field, and put him into debt over $200,000.

I'm sorry, I digress....so, anyone dealing with this also? The laws really need to change to include stepparents because the way it is now is so unfair to everyone and the one that hurts the most is the child.