Hello I'm new to this site and well this situation in general and would love any support or advice anyone could give. I'm using male pronouns because for now that's what he uses.

I've been with my partner her over 4 years, we're in our early 20s but don't live together yet. He has recently told me that he think that he might be trans. He's not completely sure but he thinks that there is a good chance that he is and this is something he wants to explore and figure out.

To be perfectly honest this is one of my worst nightmares coming true and I know that's a horrible thing to say but it's true. When I was in high school I dated a guy on and off for 3 years, he later came out as gay (I'm so happy for him because he's a much happier person and we're still close friends) which gave me some trust and self-esteem issues that I've never properly addressed. After my ex came out I found myself on forums similar to this one where women found out their husbands were gay or trans and where they spoke about the impact of that effected them. I was so terrified that I'd fall into another relationship that was a lie. Maybe my partner loving me isn't a lie but the man I feel in love potentially is.

I understand that my current partner potentially being trans isn't the same as my ex being gay. My ex and I weren't compatible because despite trying as hard as he could to ignore his sexuality he just couldn't be in a relationship with a women and be happy. My current partner loves me and has assured me that being trans won't change that.

My partner was worried when he told me that he thinks he might be trans that I would stop loving him. Obviously I still love him, to which he seems so relived and greatful for, but I don't think he's realized that there's a difference between loving someone and being compatible with them. I'm a straight women, I've never even drunk kissed a girl before. I love my partner and don't want to leave them, but I don't think I could be compatible with a women. I admire women and think they are beautiful, but I'm not attracted to them the way I am with men.

My partner is currently experimenting with clothing and make up. He started growing his hair long and wearing a headband, a group of us went out to dinner to celebrate his birthday and he wore eyeliner and lipstick, he's started wearing pink nail polish and I believe he's purchased some womens tops. He hasn't told me about these changes prior to doing them. I understand that what he's going through isn't about me but it does effect me, and suddenly seeing all these changes without any prior warning makes me feel really uncomfortable.

I'm trying to be supportive even though I'm terrified that we won't survive this. I've tried giving him make up lessons on how to use eyeliner which I believe he enjoyed but ultimately he's turning to other people and not me. He's asking a friends sister for make up advice and tips. Going shopping for new clothes with a FtM friend. Hiding conversations from me on his phone and computer when I walk into the room.

We never really had secrets. We could always grab each others phones or computers and it'd be fine. Now I can't touch his stuff to look something up on the internet or play a mobile game without him getting really uncomfortable and grabbing it back. I already feel like this is beginning to drive us apart without even factoring in how unattracted I am to him when he wears makeup.

Him questioning his gender just seems so unexpected. At the start of our relationship I voiced my concerns about ending up with another gay partner or being with someone who ended up being trans (I have nothing against trans people I just could not see myself being in a relationship with someone who was actually female), had a serious conversation about it and he assured me that he definitely wasn't gay or questioning his gender identity. He told me that it wasn't until he got snapchat and started using the filters on that app that make you look like you're wearing make up that he started questioning his gender.

Everything's just moving so quickly and I feel so lost and alone without no one to talk to and absolutely no support.

Does anyone have any words of advice?