So, we have been planning on retiring in a few years, like four. We planned on getting a 5th wheel and traveling during the seasons that were unpleasant here where we live. I went to the financial guy and I only have enough money in retirement to receive a check for 1161.00 per month. I can't live on that. If I stay with him, combined we get about 7400.00 per month. I don't want to retire and find out we aren't gonna make it and I can't support myself. So, I decided that I am going to keep on working. That saddens me. I feel like my future has been taken awya.  My dream of traveling has been taken away. My security in my old age has been taken away. So not only do I no longer have a male husband with working parts. I no longer can have my dream of retiring and traveling. My sense of loss is huge. I feel helpless. I feel like this is being done TO ME. I know it's not really true, but that's how it feels. He still thinks things are gonna be ok. He tells me he loves me fifty times a day and that too is starting to bother me. I probably am pulling away from him, because he isn't the him I married. He tells me repeatedly he is the same person, but I don't understand how that is true. How can he be the same person when men and women are different. They think differently, they respond to things differently, they fell and experience emotions differently, they get treated differently (car doors opened, flowers etc.). My head feels like it is going to explode.  I think I have been in denial and it is finally becoming real.  I like denial somuch better. It hurts so much less.  Crying and I can't see the keys.  Gonna go now.