Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
Well, for me the last 8 months since my spouse came out to me have been hell. I’d spent hours in therapy and trying so hard to find a way to be happy in this marriage. However I have decided that even though I love and support my spouse I can no longer do it as a wife.
The conversation was hard and sad. Many tears shed and after a couple days of not speaking we have had calm discussion about the future and splitting amicably.
Im no longer hurting and resentful, finally saying I wanted out feels like a weight has been lifted. We still have hurdles to jump and things to decide but for the first time in a long time I see the light at the end of the tunnel and many happier days ahead.
I didn’t expect my marriage to end so soon but I know I’ll be a better friend, support, ally, and confidant to my transitioning ex-spouse in a friend role than as an angry, resentful, bitter wife.
I pray this process can be done smoothly and with mutual respect. We’ve both hurt enough and I now want to heal and move on with my life.
The past 10 days have been sad at times but we’ve been communicating better than ever and moving in a positive way as we separate.
His mom is not handling it well. I’ve been uninvited from Thanksgiving and that rejection has been hard.
But I know I’m going to be ok no matter what comes next. The weight of this stress has been lifted and I can go into the future with hope and happiness.
I wish you all strength in whatever stage you find yourself. If staying is your goal I wish you peace and love. If divorce is your goal then I wish you strength for heart and mind.
Also- what it's meant for me is that when I think oh god, my spouse isn't my spouse anymore, I can sometimes think to myself, whelp, that's not my problem anymore either. The difficulty dealing with transition is there (you can't just erase a spouse), but it also means being sexually attracted to the new stuff is no longer a serious concern.
Also picturing dating:
Date 1 or 2:
Me: Are you sure you're male?
Date: *chokes on water* excuse me?
Me: Male. Are you certain you are comfortable with being male? Because if you're not, I feel it's better to deal with that right here and now...
yeah not sure if I'm going to stop being afraid of a dark secret hiding someplace in the next 57 years.
As you move forward, do take measures to protect yourself though.
I have cried for the loss of what I thought we would have. I’ve cried for the journey my spouse is in for.
I’ve cried for a lot of things.
But I’m happier now, I feel a weight lifted, I feel excited for my future now.
For me divorce was the only option after trying so hard to be what my spouse wanted me to be.
There are good things for me ahead. I wish good things to all of you!!!!