Spouses of Transgender Community Group

Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...

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Wanttolovehim 08/13/2018

Well I finally have had enough. I cant handle seeing anything that is her. O told him he had to leave if he was going to continue dressing as a woman. Once again he told me its his coping mechanism. Which I use to believe but after joining this support group I dont believe him. I told him our break up didnt have to be permanent. He just has to get rid of her. Go thru some counseling and therapy and not with a trans therapist.

I dont know if anyone else has experienced this but since joining this support group.i have got where I cant tolerate her at all. Him and I use to be able to talk about her and I had got where I could handle seeing her once in a while. I figured a support group would help me to cope better with it. The total opposite happened.

It looks like I'm going to have to file a restraining order because if his anger.or my dad will have to evict him.because he wont leave.

Right now I'm ok with him leaving because his anger has been so out of control. But we will see once the realization sits in that he is gone. I will have a heard time. Starting to get heartbroken. Thanks for listening and your support.

confusedfairy 08/14/2018

I did leave because I got tired of being berated for having trouble adapting, and getting domineered.

The support group came up when mine was in a slightly more realistic phase. Maybe it's making it more permanent feeling for you? That yours has started not only cd'ing quietly, but socializing to do this?

Your partner may not be able to quit this. He's certainly not entitled to treat you badly, or to disregard your feelings, but this may be a fundamental part of his identity that he just can't get rid of.

However, you are certainly not required to feel attracted to this version of him, or even stay in the relationship, and most trans people would also tell you that.

And yeah if you feel the need for a restraining order and are worried about his anger to this extent, get a lawyer and get legal services involved FAST!

Be safe!

Sylph 08/17/2018

Sorry to hear it's come to this. As CF says, this is not really something he can make just go away. I would LOVE my partner to stop, but I know it would make him very unhappy, so I am doing my best to adapt and accept.
If you know you can never accept it, and it is making you too unhappy, separation probably is the best option for both of you.
The anger is another issue, and I hope you stay safe.
Sending much love xxxx

Wanttolovehim 08/17/2018

If he wants to quit like he says he does he will get the help he needs to make her go away. Unlike alot of people I don't believe they are born this way. Tes there are those cases where a baby is born with birth male and female parts. That is differant. But I believe being trans is a choice . In his case he was made as a child to dress in girls clothes and have siex with his step dad. So his choice was dress like a girl when told or get the shit beat out of him. He needs help but wont do it. He has finally gone .He is living in a tent somewhere. He makes an appearance about once a day but is then gone again.

Sylph 08/17/2018

Oh gosh, this does sound like a case of trauma-related cross-dressing and he really does need to get help over this. It may not 'cure' him but it will help to work out if all this is caused by the trauma, or if he really is trans.
I do however dispute that being trans is a choice - there are not many who would go through the damage and disruption being trans causes for the hell of it. My partner says he'd give anything to be a cis male....
Hope it all works out xxx

Wrathoftime 08/17/2018

I agree with you Sylph that being trans is not a choice. If you ask any transgender person, they will tell you that being transgender really sucks and they wouldn't wish this on their worse enemy. Being transgender is a life threatening medical condition that could drive you to suicide if left untreated. Your partner wasn't lying to you when he told you he would give anything to be a cis male.

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