I don't really have any advice, but I wanted to acknowledge how fucking hard that must be and validate your feelings... I've read that it is common for partners to feel that way and it's common for the person who has transitioned to feel that the person they were before has died. This whole thing is just hard...

Yes, those are all normal feelings. It's a long, arduous road that you are headed down.

Just don't forget about yourself. You matter and you need to protect yourself.

I'm in this same boat. I cry, all the time. My husband identifies as a woman. He hasn't come out to anyone but me and very few close loved ones. It. Is. So. Hard. I look back at pictures of us when we first started dating and I feel like that man has died. It's sad, and depressing, and I know exactly how you feel.

Thank you for replying. I'm sorry that there are others out here feeling this kind of pain but honestly it's kind of a relief to know I'm not alone.

The pain you are feeling is a normal response. Helping is only going to work if she wants your help. If not you are in for a lot more pain.

Hello, I want to say first that I'm so sorry for your loss, I had a very close friend who transitioned and although I supported him fully, I really understand what you mean when you say you're grieving. I hope you wont find it insensitive of me to ask, but I'd really appreciate any help or advice with the problem I'm now having.

For the last few years I've been suffering from intense dysphoria, I do also suffer from a B12 deficiency and it can cause a LOT of symptoms, it isn't too far-fetched to believe that it could be causing this feeling, right now, I really really desperately hope it is and that once I start treatment for B12 deficiency, the feelings of dysphoria will go, but the other option is that I'm transgender. I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend and mother, and I feel like I'm destroying them. My mum doesn't know the full extent of how I feel yet but my boyfriend knows, I told him only a couple of days ago and although I'm trying not to, I hate myself for doing this to him. I know I'm not choosing it but I feel like I'm destroying him, I want more than anything to be the perfect girlfriend he deserves and I've tried so hard but it's not healthy or possible for me to force myself to be something I might not be anymore. Since I told him he has done nothing but encourage me to do what makes me comfortable but I can see his pain and it's killing me. I don't know what to do, it's a difficult situation and there may not be anything anyone can do to help, but I thought I'd ask and if you find this too hard or if it makes you uncomfortable, please don't answer. I just want to see it from his perspective, from yours, I want to know if there is anything I can do or say to make this easier for him, anything that would make it less painful... Thank you in advance and once again I'm sorry to ask. I hope it's ok, I just want to do anything I can to make him feel as ok as possible but from my perspective I don't know what's needed.

Skyler Honestly I don't really have any advise to make it easier for them. It's going to be hard on everyone involved and a lot of people are going to tell you not to transition for their sake but I don't believe in that. As the girlfriend of some who is ftm I know it's hard on him and on me but I can't ask him not to be who he really is. Even if I miss who he was I love who he is and I know it would be soul crushing to ask him not to be who he is. There are more fights but there are still good times and we can still work through the bad and at the end of the day it's worth it for both of us. Sometimes it's like dating someone new and you have to get comfortable with and learn about the person all over again. If I have any advise I guess it would be to talk to your. Boyfriend. Give him an outlet in you to talk about the changes y'all are both going through because it's going to be hard for both of y'all and give him a chance to relearn you and for you to relearn him. Be paciant with him and with others it's a change to get use to. But don't deny who you are. You owe that to yourself to be yourself. At the end he'll support you or he won't but at least you'll know where you stand. I come on here because I need people to talk to and to vent but no matter what I need to get off my chest I love my boyfriend and I support him and always will. Either your boyfriend will do that for you or you'll find someone that will. You deserve that.