So, I am finally able to breathe. I have spoken with my spouse and tried to just list what I am ok with and express where I am at. Basically, I told him I married a man, I see him as a man, and that's it. Period. I am not calling him by another name because I do not see him as anyone but who I married. I told him I was ok with his dressing at home, I was ok with his dressing androgenously around town, BUT I was going out to plays and on dates with my husband. PERIOD. That's it. He said that at this time he is happy and feeling like his outside reflects his inside. So for now, I am going to stop thinking about it, I am going to stop fretting, BUT I am not going to stop planning or preparing for life without him. I do not know how long his "authentic" self is going to be insync. I am going to continue planning for my future, I am going to curtail my spending, continue trying diligently to save and to squirrel away all that I can. I am going to make sure all my bills are paid and I have limited to no outstanding debt. If we stay together, wonderful we'll start retirement with more. If not, at least I will be a bit more financially prepared. That will relieve some stress.
I have to admit, it is a relief to finally have a decision made one way or another. I will be going to a therapist, but just knowing what I can and can't deal with and being able to be honest and frank about it really helps us both. If he gets to the point where he needs to go further, then we can revisit things, but at least I am standing up for myself and I can verbalize what I can and can not handle. What a relief.
I feel like a backpack of bolders has been lifted off my shoulders and back. It's quite freeing.
hello I'm new here, my husband came out about 2 months ago and it's been a journey... I don't know what to feel what's right what's wrong. I love him and I'm sad and scared because I'm losing my husband he doesn't understand when I'm saying this because he's still here but if and when he fully transitions he wont be... when he told me I did his make up for the first time and then bought him a...
My partner's therapist wants him to start experimenting with gender identity more and to stop thinking too much about transition and what it involves. He seems happy with this, and was glad he went even though he didn't feel like it. I've come to the conclusion that it's inevitable that hellh transition some day, so now I'm not worrying too much about it all. I just feel defeated. We'll see how...