Spouses of Transgender Community Group
Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...
Not posted anything for a long time but my partner came out to me 2 years ago as being trans. I struggled at first but got over it or so I thought. But now his/her depression is pushing me close to alimit I just can't take it any more.
She still dresses for the most part as man but has long hair and has taken hormones for whole now. My eldest is due to start school next week and I am terrified she is going to get bullied when it all comes out. No one outside the family knows as my partner suffers from anxiety and depression and hasn't wanted to come out fully yet.
Anyway she hates her job so much I have been worried that she wouldn't come home and I would get a call saying she has killed herself. It's been such a hard couple of weeks. It's no got to a point where I think she will quit or be sacked next week and the trouble is I am a stay at home mum which I have been for the last 4 years. It was the deal I would stay home untill the kids started school but I just feel the goalposts are moving all the time. I feel the pressure to go and get a job and say to her to stay home but to be honest that's my job and I feel I am being forced into a situation I don't want to be in and never asked for.
The plan was to save for her to have surgery etc as she was in a really good job but if I go back we will be in a position where she won't have surgery and she will be even more depressed
I know she has proberly felt like that her whole life and I should ease off on her but I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I haven't got anyone to talk to too. I feel like maybe I am being a bit harsh but at the same time I need to do what's best for me and our children.
The stage you are in sounds very difficult, and I worry myself about my spouse's mental health and potential suicidal tendencies. Add to that anxiety about how our future child(ren) will be impacted, and it is tough to know how to proceed.
I don't think you are being harsh. I know the situation will be different when children are involved, and I worry about that. Add to that your vulnerability as the stay at home parent!
Do you think it would be possible for you to work part time, and for your spouse to work a little less to have some time to address their mental health?
And about getting bullied at school, I know we worry. Kids are very accepting about these things. I don't think it will be as bad as you imagine.
Good luck to you.
If not, I would suggest that you two start looking into that. I have to say, for myself, going on anti-depressants were a great choice for me. I know a lot of people don't want to be on meds, but it sounds like you guys need to try something new.
*hugs*