Spouses of Transgender Community Group

Being transgender it's not easy but neither for their spouses. This group is created with the intention of helping and getting to know others that are in. the same situation or to just educate those that are on the other side of the fence and want to know how does it feel or how would it feel to be a spouse of a transgender person. The main objective of this group is...

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SportRocque 08/09/2018

My wife’s Mom had untreated Borderline Personality Disorder/Narcissism. Because of this (and other instances of trauma abuse as a child/young adult), my wife has complex PTSD. Which turns out, can have a lot of similarities to BPD. When I go over traits of people with BPD, most describe my wife, granted, she’s often pretty high-functioning.

I think before she decided that trans issues were the “real” problem, she was headed towards treating complex PTSD/BPD with her therapist, but seems to have given up on that in favor of this.

I was wondering how many of your spouses have been/could be diagnosed with either BPD/complex PTSD?

gallinarosa 08/09/2018

Not mine, though the therapist refers to him as being like a trauma victim *because of* him growing up trans and trying to hide it his whole life. I feel like some of his "survival" methods in dealing with being trans has lead him to become a bit self-centered in a strange way that can appear like narcissistic behavior.

Wanttolovehim 08/09/2018

I believe mine is the way he is because of the abuse as a child.

19yearsandcounting 08/09/2018

Mine doesn't show signs of PTSD/BPD. Her therapist treats some of the trauma from having beer bottles thrown at her as a child (by other kids) and being told she was not a girl as a form of PTSD, however it's not a diagnosis.

Ldmessing 08/10/2018

I believe mine is same situation as gallinarosa

confusedfairy 08/10/2018

Mine has manic elements about her personality. The idea that all will be perfect, the idea that her job already thinks she's very feminine to begin with, the idea that transitioning medically will be a good idea in spite of her past medical history that could prove a contraindication to it, etc.

Keep in mind psychiatric comorbidity is a known thing with gender dysphoria. As in- people are known for having OTHER things on top of their gender issues. Treating the other things might make our respective spouses much, much more pleasant, but may not make the transition go away.

Cora 08/14/2018

My spouse went through a major depressive episode in college. Sometimes he thinks he has undiagnosised bipolar disorder. My therapist had a few sessions with him and she thinks he's autistic.

I agree with GR--whatever my spouse has going on, he has a very difficult time understanding my emotions and only really understands his needs.

So whatever the case might be, I'm thinking that my spouse is unable to have a healthy relationship with me.

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