Feeling out of sorts tonight. We haven't tried marriage counseling in almost 6 months, because he isn't in recovery, doesn't think he has a problem and so the last time was a total waste of time. But we've recently started talking again about giving it another try. I've contacted a therapist who was recommended to me by someone at s-anon. He sounds really good. But this will be the fifth marriage counselor we've been to (well, in three years, maybe that's not so bad), and honestly I don't have that much hope for the outcome. It feels tiring to explain the story again...and a lot of blah blah blah... but if we don't try...how much longer do I go on in this limbo? The limbo of staying together with little trust gets just as tiring and old. We've had some very good months over the past year, but old fears and pain have recently resurfaced. I'm taking care of myself and have many tools to do that that I didn't have in the past....but man, it just feels like this is going to go on and on and on and discouragement sets in. thanks for listening...