I smoked for 45 years and decided it was enough and quit. Need to get it in your mind you are not going to smoke again. Try chantix

I try chantix had very bad reaction to it. So I can't do that 45 years is long time as well. I am smoking all the time Ifvi not sleeping ugh up too 2 packs a day used to be 3 so I doing better but should be doing like 1 pack a few days Iam doomed

Prayers cat.
I don't have any experiences to share about the smoking. That's a tough addiction to shake, no doubt. The only people I know that have done it, did so w/ cold turkey. Hang in there man.
Considering the childlessness, have you done any therapy on that score? Dealing with that with a pro will likely help deal with the smoking. It's pretty easy to see how that reaction (your smoking in this case) to a legitimate heart break could teach your inner self to crave smoking when things get tough. A pro would help you make sense of that. If you've already got one, I encourage you to "go there" with him/her and this whole cycle.
Again, prayers bro.

Thanks sirgrits appreciate you

It can be done. I went 8 years without a cigarette. I then relapsed where I was thinking I could have 1 here and there then before I knew it I was back at a whole pack a day. Then I had medicine to stop then a cessation program online

I went 8 weeks with out I had saved $700.00 then in an envelope itS still there. but now that I choose to smoke atleast knowing how expensive it is. I just allow my self 2 packs a week at the most and continue to add to the envelope since its costing me a lot less to smoke and after a year when I count it. It will leave me motivated to quit for fiod.

U all very sweet and kind words do help thanks

Sweet words help but truth is a consistent attitude.

Try working out and prayer.

Have you considered adoption working on your foster license? My Mother-in-law's brother spent 2 years in foster care and it taught him what a normal family could be. You could be the stability a child is desperate for.