Smoking Addiction & Recovery Support Group
The CDC claims that nicotine is a "very addictive drug" that can be "as addictive as heroin or cocaine." Nicotine is typically eliminated from the body within 2 to 3 days, however, physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms may last for much longer depending on the individual. If you are trying to kick the habit, this community is dedicated to giving smokers the...
I went to my doctor and he asked me what's the matter, well I said its a bit embarrassing its my penis its shaped like a rocket. Well he said that is very unusual, I had better take a look at it, when he looked at my penis he said that is amazing it is exactly like a rocket, what does your wife think about it ? oh I said she is over the moon.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country," said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow, Friday morning, and I'll come and see you when we close up."
When the boss looked up the young man the next day at closing time, he saw him shaking hands with a beaming customer. After they parted, he walked over and asked, "Well, that looked good! How many sales did you make today?" "That was the only one," said the young salesman. "Only one!?!" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. You'll have to do better than that! Well, how much was the sale worth?"
"Two hundred twenty seven thousand, three hundred thirty four dollars and change," said the young man. The boss paused for a moment, blinking a few times. "H... H... How did you manage that?!?" "Well, when he came in this morning and I sold him a small fish hook. Then, I sold him a medium hook, and then a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and then a big one. I then sold him a spear gun, a wetsuit, scuba gear, nets, chum, coolers, and a keg of beer.
I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. We decided he would probably need a new boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines.
Then, he said that his Volkswagon probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser, with a winch, storage rack, rustproofing, and a built-in refrigerator. Oh, and floor mats."
The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?!"
"No," answered the salesman. "He came in to buy a blanket."
"A blanket?"
"Yeah, an extra blanket for the couch. He just had a fight with his wife and was sleeping on the couch. I said to him, 'Well, your weekend's ruined, so you might as well go fishing...'"
The Devil says to him "Hey Vinny we've been waitin for ya!".
Vinny smiles and walks with the Devil and the Devil says "I gotta ask you a couple questions, do you like to smoke?" Vinny answers "Ya, I love to smoke." The Devil says "Good you'll like Mondays we smoke everything cigarettes, cigars, weed everything."
"Now do you like to drink?" Then Vinny says "Of course I love to drink." The Devil replies "Great we drink everything on Tuesdays you will fit in great."
"Do you like to have sex?" Vinny says "Hell ya sex is the best." The Devil smiles and replies "We have sex with every type of woman you could think of on Wedesdays."
And the Devil finally says "Now, are you gay?" Vinny frowns and answers "NO I'm not gay! And the Devil looks down and finishes "Your gonna hate Thursdays."
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity..
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?" the man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did."