Hi Solo. Most if not all CPAPs today are very quiet. Your partne should actually sleep better since the CPAP will stop you from snoring, and gasping for air and thrashing about in your sleep. Of course all those things depend I guess on how serious your apnea is. My husband is getting the best sleep he's had in years since I started using my CPAP. I'm getting the best sleep too!!
As for lovemaking, you aren't planning on wearing your mask during that are you? There's no reason why your need for a CPAP should interfere with lovemaking. And actually, once you've started to get the kind of sleep you're supposed to be getting you might find your lovemaking sessions to be even more enjoyable. :)

Solo60, I did have to move into another room prior to being diagnosed with sleep apnea becuase I was waking my wife by jumping, kicking and just getting up all the time because I couldn't beathe. I didn't snore, I just couldn't breathe. When I got my CPAP, my wife wasn't happy with it, not because of the noise as there isn't any, but just the look. It doesn't really worry me, I sleep in my room because it doesn't upset her and now I can breathe. I'm 49 been married for 25 years so the romance and lovemaking doesn't really worry me anyway LOL, I'd rather not die from a heart attack or stroke etc. I feel so much better, I go to the gym most days and jog 4-5 kms (about 2.5 miles) most days. If you were lacking energy and are tired all the time as Liz1961 says it will probably help you. Of course you could make a youtube video of the lovemaking with the mask on, it might be a youtube sensation!!!(only joking). Keep us updated on how you go.

OK. call me vain but I would guess the appearance of a woman lying next to him wearing that ugly thing would be a real turn-off. I know this is really silly but one of the things I need most at this point in my life is a man next to me, who reaches for me and who is there for me to reach for. It's that feeling of safety and security that I have missed for a long time. I now have someone in my life who wants the same thing and we can finally be together. What's that like for a man... reaching for a woman in a mask? I guess I'm afraid that this condition means I won't be able to have my dream. I haven't even told him yet and we always have talked about everything openly. I don't know whether you can answer this and I DO intend to discuss this with my doctor but is this a forever thing? I have been told that I have a severe case but
can this mask thing be something that "fixes" the problem or will I probably have to wear it for the rest of my life? I'm 69 now. BTW, your answers were extremely kind and helpful. I'm very grateful.

Solo60, unfortunately you will have to wear it for the rest of your life as there is no cure for sleep apnea. Some people have gone down the surgery track and I have only heard of one person that said they have been cured. I Have heard on 2 other forums, that I am on of 4 people in the last 6 months that have died from undiagnosed sleep apnea related illnesses or non complaince of CPAP. Going back to having a man in your life, I would think your health is very important. I don't know if you have kids etc but I'm sure you want to live as long as possible. Last year I was almost dying, I had chest pains, foggy head, aches and pains and was diagnosed with drepression. That has nearly all claered up now but I know I will be with my machine for the rest of my life and accept it. We can give you lots more advice but the most important thing at this stage it to go into it with a positive attitude and that will get you a long way.

Solo, yes, I'm afraid this will be a life long thing. I'm 50 and was concerned as you are about how I would look to my husband. I found out that he loves me enough that wearing this mask doesn't matter to him as much as my being healthy and with him for the rest of our lives matters.
I fully understand your need to have a mate in your life, but this mate needs to care about you and not how you look in a CPAP mask. What if something more serious befalls you? What if you have a stroke? Would he stick by your side through that? If he loves you he will and if he loves you he will not care if you wear a mask to bed. Look, I don't even put my mask on until I'm ready to turn out the light and go to sleep.
You aren't going to know until you talk to him and good relationships are built on honesty so go have a talk with him. Tell him what is in your future. If he's worth having in your life he will support you wearing a mask and using your CPAP.
You say your apnea is severe. I am hoping that you don't decide against treatment if this man of yours is put off by the idea. Severe apnea is nothing to mess with. I speak from personal experience as mine is quite severe. Look at it this way. Without treatment you have a VERY good chance of having a heart attack or stroke. You give up treatment for someone else and that happens then where are you? You deserve love in your life and companionship, but you also deserve to live without the dangers of strokes, high blood pressure, heart attacks, dead brain cells, obesity, or heaven forbid, falling asleep while driving or doing some task where alertness is vital.
Talk to him. You might be surprised by how accepting he can be. And good luck!

Liz, yes , in my brain I know everything you're saying is true and no, I'm not willing to gamble with my life. I'm just afraid right now. I've always been so healthy all my life and all of a sudden I'm dealing with a half a dozen things and it's starting to look like a lot of them are inter-connected. I've gained about 90 pounds in the past year, I cry at the drop of a hat, I know my hormones are all out of whack, my fibromyalgia flares are out of control, I hurt all over all the time and of course, my sleep is non restorative. I'll deal with it. I really hate to say this but I have thought it....this might just be the test of true love and it's best I find out now. The man I'm hoping to be with has some health issues also. He tried to spare me the burden but I didn't want to be spared. I wanted to be there for him. I guess time will tell as they say...Thank you both for being here. You provide the human element that is so missing in today's world. Bless you both.

Solo I think you are right that a lot of what you're experiencing is inter-connected. And once you start sleeping the way we're all intended to sleep you will find a lot of that clears up. Don't know about the fibro, but it is bound to be less severe at least.
If your man has health issues of his own then chances are very good that he will be accepting of your apnea and need for treatment.
This is what support is all about and the journey you're on right now feels very scary and overwhelming. We've been where you are and where you're going and will be happy to talk you through it if needed. Hugs!

Solo60, my final bit on this, I had similar symptoms to you, aches and pains all over, my left jaw was always hot and sore, I actually lost too much weight around 20 kilo's (45 pounds) becuase I was only sleeping 1-2 hours per night and the sleeping pills I was taking were still in my body when I went to work, so I was drowsy and felt shocking all day. It was the sleep deprivation, I was diagnosed with servere sleep apnea and stop breathing 30 times an hour, so I was waking up every 2 mins and most of the time couldn't breathe. I'm sure you can imagine the stress that was causing, I never wanted to go to sleep because i was too scared I may not wake up.
Anyway, get your machine and mask and I'm sure you will feel much better. Also, remember this is also going to be a long journey so don't expect too much too soon. One tip on the machine and mask, most machines are similar, but it is the mask that is the most important thing. You want it to be comfortable and have the least amount of leaks possible. You may have to try multiple masks, I went through 5 before I found the one that suited me. There are 3 types of masks, Nasal pillows, Nasal masks and Full face masks. I use a FFM because I a mouth breather (I breathe through my mouth) but are trying to teach myself to breathe through my nose.

I've been reading the other posta and I found some that mention "bipap". What is that?

Solo60, there are different types of machines the most common is CPAP which is probably what you'll get depending on the perscription your sleep Dr gives you. CPAP basically pushes air straight into your lungs while a BiPAP machine helps push air and oxygen into the lungs and then helps to hold the lungs inflated, thereby allowing more oxygen to enter the lungs. BiPAPs are much dearer than CPAPs because they can do two functions instead of one. With the CPAP you can get two types one that pushes constant pressure into you lungs or the one I have which adjusts pressure when you need it. For example mine is set between 4-12, so if I only need 4 that's what I get but if I stop breathing and need more it can go up to 12. On fixed pressure I was on 10 all the time. Your Dr will prescribe a pressure that suits you from your second sleep study. Keep asking questions, aslo look up as many websites as possible. You get a lot more info from websites that you do from the medical profession. Don't know which country you are in but I have given you two really good ones below that I am a member of and highly recommend them.
http://hope2sleepguide.co.uk
http://www.sleepguide.com

BIGBEARSH, would you tell me more about the auto adjusting machine, please?

I got a boyfriend shortly after getting the CPAP machine and it didn't bother him at all. It doesn't affect intimacy as you can just take it off for those times together and then put it back on after. ;)

Ok maybe I should clarify this a bit...I wasn't referring to making love with a mask on and maybe I should give my partner a lot more credit and our relationship even more but I'm wondering how it would effect a man's perception of me...to wake up in the middle of the night and see someone lying next to him wearing an ugly piece of rubber with some tubes attached to a machine. Yes, I'm going to wear the equipment. Yes, I value my life. Yes, I would be heartbroken to find out he didn't love me enough to accept my medical condition and I know I'm better off knowing the truth no matter what that might be but I guess I'm just afraid it will change what we have. Can men really accept something like this the way a woman can?

Solo, my husband did. He even comes to bed after me so he sees me wearing this contraption, but he still loves me and still finds me attractive.
The sooner you talk to your man the sooner you'll know how he is going to feel seeing you using a CPAP. Not knowing his reaction may turn out to be worse than knowing his reaction. You feel strongly enough about him to let him into your bed and your life, do you trust him? Talk to him.

I do trust him and I know I need to tell him soon. I'm just having trouble finding the courage to do that and I'm not really sure why. I've never had any health issues before and all of a sudden I have several. From what I've been told, all of them are connected and won't be successfully treated until I get the sleep apnea issue addressed. I want to thank all of you for your straight-forwardness and advice. I value everything you share very much. Please continue to share what you know. I'm listening. You are helping me find that courage that I need. God bless you.