well, it has been an entire weekend that I haven't seen my daughter. Her mom stayed out all night, with her. (We live together unfortunately still.
Good Dads are out there, there's just more deadbeats.
Moms limit contact thinking/knowing that it will upset you, but in reality, only hurts the child.
Dad's of course can still be good dads.
As long as the courts change in our favor, then yes, the parenting time/social acceptance of dads raising kids too, has to change.

I am sorry you've been limited to access of your son, I can only imagine what you're feeling.

1. the almighty dollar needs to be made.

2. I have seen a change in that.

3. you would have to ask each mom. I dont personaly because I know my children need their father, no matter how disfuncsional he is ;-)

4. Yes yes and yes.

5. yes if the media stopped portraying them in such a bad light.

I encourage you to fight as hard as you can to spend time with your son and let him see you do it. It will make him feel special and loved. Of course I mean figurativley fight;-)

From Grannies prospect and ex single parent The average person unfortunately marries3 times

1 The Dad's have remarried, Take a good look at tv the men are being emasculated in the media. Hollywood is teach them that women know best.

2. Most of the judges are women the rules are set up to give women the upper hand. The 1st choice is allway Mom and she has just about kill the kid before she will loose custody.
3. Limited access oh' baby the less you see the kids the more money she gets
4. No the best dad is one that is in the home with the child they can onlly do fair, they are now a visitor in there childs life truely. Childreen neeed both Dad and Mom it is what a radio shrink refers to as an intack home.
5 Question for history to decide


Yes, limited custdy is granted more than the pres is letting on. Really limited custody no offense you mmust have really pissed off the judge.

I come by my opinnion honestly.I have been thru the court system andhavecome out on the other side. Unfortunatly my son has been thru it also thou there is hope "He has custody of his daughter". My husband spent 18 years in and out of court he has an exwife that did not work for the 1st 15 years after her divorcing him . His is truely a tragic example of what the court can do. Ha the woman even did drugs and everyone turned there head and let it go on.

some thing to consider

What time you have with your child make it memorable fun , Do health thing this will encourage both of you. Life is not fair life is life. Our court system is what our society ask it to be. It is neither the worst or the best. Family Law jugdes are given a wide birth of interpitation of the law.

Peace to you
Be well

I think the dads should have the same rights as the mom in court. There are many great dads out there and ofcourse they can be a good dad even if divorced. I think it's totally wrong to keep your kid from one of the parents dad or mom if there isn't reasons (drugs, alcohol, abuse etc...), especially if you do it just to get back at the other parent cause it hurts the kid, a lot!
My oldest's dad left before she was born. A kid need both parents! Not having her dad her hurt her, I can see it and wish that I could do something about it.

Here is my opinion on your questions.
#1...I don't believe they are becoming more rare. It may be something the media has wanted us believe. But in my little corner of the world there are bad dads but bad moms as well.
#2...Because the laws favor the mother. Yes it is unfair but there is still that old belief that the mother is the one with the instincts on how to raise a child vs. the dad who is out working 60 hours a week to support the family. Now you have to work the 60 hours for you to live decently and still support your child.
#3...Because they are selfish and vindictive. Often they can now use there child as a tool against the man who has wronged them. The real loser is the child. Couples just need to stop using the child as a weapon against each other.
#4...Yes. I am engaged to one. He moved for his daughter, changed jobs for his daughter. They have a great relationship and love each other very much.
#5...I don't know. Men are fighting a long ingrained belief like I mentioned above.
The fact there are men like my ex who totally walked out on his family even when he was given visitation rights and good ones who don't help the cause either.
I am sure you have done so but...work with your lawyer to see if you can change it at all. I am sorry you are alone and yes society isn't always fair. Please don't give up on your fight. Children are not stupid and your son will know he has a super dad who loves him very much.
Jennifer

I'm coming from the point of view of a deadbeat.

1. Good dads are becoming more and more rare b/c KIDS are having kids. At least that's what I think. Father's are hit with the responsibility, and aren't mature enough to realize that they HAVE to do it (or morally should anyway).
2. I don't know why...society's view? I think that both mother and father should be taken into consideration, their jobs, homes, willingness and proof of taking on responsibility.
3. Some moms are just as bad as dead beat dads. They have no other reason except that THEY don't want to see the father. Very selfish.
4. Of course. My parents divorced when I was 4. My father was my world, my favorite person, my best friend...and he was a "weekend dad"
5. I think they can, but it would be hard. There are so many dead beats, and you can't even talk sense to them.

I'm a single Dad of 3 boys. I have joint custody but mom has a BF she spends time with. We've been divorced 2 months. Kids resent her leaving the family for another man So they stay with me most of the time. And I'm good with that. I've dedicated myself to show my boys what it is to be a Godly and honorable man.

1. Good dads are not rare. What we consider a good dad has changed. A dad is not considered good just because he lives at home. A wife beating child abusing alcoholic that comes home every day should not be considered a good dad. Good dads spend quality time with their kids, support them in every way, sacrifice for them, and are always there showing them the righteous way to live. Now how many men are living in a manner like that for themselves, much less their kids?

2. Most dads lose in the court system because you guys don't know how to play the game because most of your lives A WOMAN told you the rules. Bottom line is if a woman can't show you to be unfit, you are as entitled to see your kids as she is. But if you go into court not having paid child support, not having gone to visit your kids because you don't want to deal with their mom's, not having a job yourself, having a history of altercations with the mother, no judge in his right mind is going to give you full custody. But if you go into court with the money order receipts, grocery store receipts with the kids food circled, canceled checks with the words "Kids clothes" in the memo section that the mother has cashed and some solid paystubs you put yourself in a different position on the playing field. The courts assume that whoever has physical custody of the kids is already putting out those expenses. All you have to do is prove you were helping to cover them too and you guys are even on the field.

3. Some women are just plain evil and selfish. They are so busy thinking they are punishing you for hurting them, they don't think about how damaging it is to the kids to mess with the relationship you have with them.

4. A man can be at any stage in life and be a good father. The catch is know what a good father is supposed to provide and too many think you can buy that in a store.

5. In my world, Dad's are priceless. They teach girls how guys are supposed to treat them and the teach boys how to be men and treat the women in their lives.

I personally have been called a traitor because I tell men how to win the court game if they are really trying to be dads to their kids. Send me an email if you want some tips to use. They may help you get the time you want, who knows? I just know if you love them so much you came on DS, you must really want them.

Dresmom is right, completely. If you are the one taking care of the chilren moreso than the mother, then you should have full custody if you want it.
No court should be able to beat that, and especially if the children choose to be with you more, that should help too.

You're not a traitor Dresmom. There are some absolutely wicked women in this world too.

it makes me mad when i see women trying to keep the dads from seeing the children. if my daughters father wanted contact with her i would be happy for him to have it. there are so many fathers out there that dont care so its terrible when they try to and are turned down. Even if you cant see your son as much as you would like just be sure to let him know even by phone that he is in your thoughts.

There are a lot of great dads still out there. I know many men included it that list, and it seems that you are one of them. My son father is not on that, and I would give anything for him to be a good dad. Good dads should not lose in the court room, they have just as many rights as the mother does...so it seems. I know there are many cases though where it doesnt turn out how it should. I think that in some cases men can be better dads after divorce. They might make it harder on the kids just by sensing things are not good between mom and dad. There are many bad dads and there are many bad moms. The sad part is that it seems both of those sides are growing.

all though society always thinks so...it's not always the mans fault for a divorce. i was married for ten years with two children, a boy and girl. all of a sudden..shes gone, left me,kids everything. after feeling like an outsider for a while, i found that yes..a man can be a very good parent...alone. i have soul custody of my children and have had no help what so ever. granted...all i can do for my girls hair is a pony tail...it's a good pony tail. my children are 13 and 9 now and it's been just us for 4 years. i swore that i would not let them down. yes it gets very hard at times...but both of them make straight A's in school, class presidents, and star athletes around here.I dont think i've done nothing special, just what any normal parent would do. but yes a man can be a good father outside of marrage

I believe there are good dads out there. During my divorce I told the courts I wanted my ex to have time with the kids. Not becuse I didn't want to be with them but because I thought it was important to the kids. I was from a divorced family and my dad didn't take me on a regular bases.

I think the courts are changing that view. Keep fighting and keep records of when you asked for visitationand why you are denied.

There are good Dad'd out there and bad ones, just like there are good Mom's and bad. Unfortionately you only hear about the bad ones.

With my first 4 children,(all grown now) they lived with their mother after we divorced. I had them everyother weekend and for half the summer. I kept up with their schooling and went to all their special events. I paid my support every month before I did anything else. As they became teenagers the one by one came to live with me. I also raised two step-children through their teen yeard.

I am now 59 years old and am raising my 3 year old son by my self. I know it is tough for single Mom's as my mother was one. But I also know from experiance that it is even harder for single Dad's raising their children.
I believe strongly in the saying "Any man can be a Father, But it takes a special man to be a DAD".
I am proud to consider myself in that group.